A Happy Accident
by Laura and Amber
Summary: When Linda and Lawrence die, the discovery of not only Phineas' father, Doofenshmirtz, but also of how something as tragic as a car crash or an accidental birth, can bring the most joy. Even to a broken family.
1. Chapter 1

Heinz was running late...again. He groaned in frustration as he screwed on the last piece of his inator. And he hadn't even BEGUN on the trap for his nemesis! It seemed to the man, as he sighed and sat aside the wrench, that nothing in his life would ever go right. Sure, there were a few moments, that were quickly demolished and thrown aside like egg shells. And with not only the constant Perry the Platypus expectations hanging over his head AND Vanessa staying for the week, he also had to thank Roger for DRAGGING his sorry rear to the family reunion later on in the week as well. Only did the man know that once the doorbell reached his ears, things were definitely going for a backwards flip for him.

He heard the doorbell and went over, expecting to see Perry, early as usual, for their normal routine, but was surprised to find a rather formal gentleman standing at his door with a stern and cold expression, almost ingrained, onto his face.

"Um...", the doctor began nervously. "Can I help you?"

"Are you Heinz Doofenshmirtz?", the man asked in a deep, clear, and rather sharp, voice.

"Yes. Yes I am.", he gave a nod. "And you're...?"

"A social security worker for the Flynn-Fletcher family. I trust you know them?", he asked.

Heinz scratched his head at the question. Flynn-Fletcher? He thought it over, a vague memory of Flynn that lead him down to..

'No-no-no! I ain't goin THERE, Bud!', he thought to himself while he was ahead. But still...if this guy was asking about if he knew any FLYNNS...he SHOULD answer...right? "Well.. I know a woman named Flynn but..."

"Linda Flynn? Once known as Lindana?", the man asked, making Heinz's eyes grow wide with surprise.

"Th...the very same!", he stammered.

"I'm sorry to bring you this unfortunate news but..", the man began, sounding the least bit caring. "I'm afraid Linda Flynn and her husband Lawrence Fletcher had recently died in a terrible car crash."

Heinz couldn't help but gasp, taking a step back. Linda DIED?

"B-but-! Wh-what about..?!", he began, but the man was already ahead of him, pulling out a few sheets of paper from the messenger bag he carried.

"My people checked the resources and they say YOU are Candace and Phineas Flynn's biological father. The other boy's family lives out in England so we're placing him under your guardianship as well. If you'll just sign these papers... My people are already on their way to inform the kids of what's happening.", he pressed on, holding out the sheets.

Heinz was still in developing the news. Yes he knew Linda. Far more than he dared to let his nemesis, or anyone but his faithful friend, Dr. Bloodpudding, to know about. Some years after school he had met her while trying to commit suicide. They had gotten together but since Heinz was drunk, they had the surprise to discover little Candace on the way. When Heinz was kicked out of the house for a lack of a good job and actually getting around to MARRYING her, Phineas was just barely a month old. And now she was dead. And Phineas and Candace... Now they were left under HIS care? Sure, it's what he always wanted. He loved family. But with the sudden death of their mother...and the fact he hasn't seen them in the last 10 years with recognition. Wait.. Did he say another kid?

"I'm sorry... Wait..", Heinz stammered, trying to find his brain in all this. "Did you say, Candace, Phineas, and another boy is put under my custody?"

"Yes. Ferdinand "Ferb" Fletcher. Lawrence's son.", the man nodded. "He, Phineas, and Candace will all be under your custody and you will inherit most of Linda's things, if you care to sign these papers."

"Oh right, right. Yeah.. Um.. Right.", Heinz nodded, looking about his lab coat.

He pulled out his reading glasses, a pen, and went to work on signing. When the paper work was done the man left and told him he had an hour to make it to the address on the card he sat on the table.

An hour. That was time for Heinz to get things ready for the kids. It was almost a wonderment how he was going to see Candace and Phineas again after so many years. Phineas, the little inquizitive child he had never seen grow up and Candace... Vanessa was his first daughter. That will always be true. His little princess. But Candace... Candace was always this little ball of joy. A ray of sunshine. Having her with him, Heinz wouldn't trade it for anything else. She always seemed happy to see him. And always excited when he came home from work. He almost feared seeing her now. So many years to not see someone...would she still be happy like she was before?

Heinz cleared his mind of these thoughts, figuring it was useless until he actually met them. He walked over to Norm in the kitchen and began giving him instructions on how to get things ready for them when Vanessa finally poked her head out of her bedroom door.

She had seen the man come in his car outside of the DEI from her window. And she saw him leave. She couldn't help but wonder why some official-looking kinda guy would bother with her dad if he did! Finding him in the kitchen, writing a list and talking at the same time, only her dad was girly enough to multi-task like this, Vanessa ventured to find out.

"Hey.. Dad?", she asked.

"Vanessa! Oh hey.", he smiled, looking up from the paper. "What is it?"

"Who was that guy I saw outside?"

"Oh. He's a social security worker.", Heinz explained but seeing his daughter's confused expression he sighed and sat aside the pen for a moment, lowering his glasses to see her better. "You see Vanessa... A woman had died in a car crash recently... I knew her. Her name is Linda Flynn. And I knew her because... Well not too long after I had divorced your mother, I had met her before committing suicide. She helped me get my head on straight. And we liked each other for a while but.. I hadn't talked to her in about 10 years. She has three kids. Two of which...are your half-siblings. Candace and Phineas Flynn. The other is a Ferdinand Fletcher. I'm responsible for taking care of them now since both of their parents died."

Of course the news of someone dying in a car crash is very surprising to hear. And the news further about having practically long-lost half-siblings even more so! But the only thing that kept Vanessa's eyeballs in their sockets was the third kid. Ferdinand? She knew Ferb. But... Was his full name ACTUALLY Ferdinand? That or Ferb died too and they had a sibling she never met.

"Wait.. Ferdinand? You mean Ferb?", she asked.

"That's the one.", he gave a nod.

Now a new concept had to settle on her mind. "Ferb" was short for "Ferdinand". Mystery solved. But now SHE was going to be with living WITH FERB for the whole week?

"I don't have a lot of time. I'm picking up a few groceries and heading over. You wanna come?", Heinz asked, finally finishing up the shopping list and folding it up.

Vanessa gave a nod. She wasn't gonna wanna miss this. And not to mention, if Candace knew her dad, she might want some help adjusting to the situation. But when she was at the store with Heinz, it seemed HE was the one needing some adjustments. Almost a nervous wreck. Which isn't entirely surprising, considering how many years it was since he saw the Flynns but still, when you have to warn your dad about buying whole dairy products because you've been told a hundred times how lactose intolerance ran in the family, you couldn't help but think he was just a little bit on edge.

As they stopped to check over the list, a thought had occurred to Heinz though. But with little preparation and lack of knowledge, would it really work? Of course though, that's the handiness of a daughter tagging along on a shopping trip. Take that Rodney.

"Hey, Vanessa? Thinking about Candace, Phineas, and Ferb, I was wondering...", Heinz began, unsure of how to word his thoughts. "What if.. What if I got them a little something? You know, like when you move into a new neighborhood, you get a house-warming gift? What if, what if this is like a room-warming gift or an apartment-warming gift? Something..you know, to make them feel more comfortable moving in."

"...You mean like a suck-up birthday present?", she asked.

"No!", he quickly replied. "No! Not sucking-up. Welcoming them! I'm WELCOMING them into the house."

"Well if you wanna 'WELCOME them into the house.'", she said with air-quotes and a mock-voice. "What do you propose to get them?"

"That... I was having trouble deciding...", he sighed. "I don't know what they like now a days and just getting them candy really IS a suck-up gift. I.. I really wanna make this special for them."

"...You're really trying, aren't you?", Vanessa said, surprised to see so much of this deeper passion from her dad that, by that, she was more willing to help. "Well let's start with Candace. Do you have any special memories with her?"

Heinz pondered this a moment and after giving it some thought, they headed over to the electronics. After scanning through the shelves, Heinz had finally found it and pulled it down.

"A Ducky Momo alarm clock?", she asked.

"Yeah! Candace used to LOVE Ducky Momo!", he smiled.

"Isn't she a little OLD for the show?", she asked.

"Aren't you a little OLD for-"

"OKAY!", she covered over him, hoping no one would hear. "Ferb! What about Ferb?"

"Well whatcha know about him?", Heinz asked. "I got nothing."

Vanessa thought it over. As she noticed, Ferb was very quiet. He builds things with Phineas. Quick on his feet for sure but whenever he spoke, it was only to offer sincere suggestions and wisdom. It was really odd to try to combine such a thing into a present. A book? It seemed too trivial. Toolbox? He most likely doesn't need any new tools. But after giving it a thought, trying to ignore this odd fluttering in her stomach, Vanessa finally had an idea. A little off from him yet...it seemed almost perfect with his demeanor. And walking out to the garden section, Heinz was surprised to see her place a small bonsai tree in the cart with a slight smile.

"Seriously?", he asked.

"I dunno why. It just seems too right for him.", she shrugged.

"Alright. He's your boyfriend.", Heinz smirked before heading off.

"Wh-?! No he is NOT!", she said indignantly, following after him in a storm of bright blushes and huffs.

"DE-NI-AL!", Heinz sang in all tease.

"Shut up, Dad!", she huffed with her arms across her chest.

"Why? It's not like you got anything on me."

"...So if it's by denial that Ferb's my boyfriend, I guess you and Mom are due to marry soon, right?", she asked, making Heinz slip off the cart he was leaning on. "Oh no! You and PERRY, am I right? Tell me I'm right."

"WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! Eww! SERIOUSLY WRONG!", he said, standing back up, as red in the face as she was.

"De-ni-al!", she sang in a sweet melody with a smile.

"Vanessa Doofenshmirtz! pairing ME with my PLATYPUS NEMESIS is most seriously, the WRONGEST thing you could say!", he exclaimed "I'm-! I can't believe I'm hearing this out of my OWN daughter!"

When the question came to what to get for Phineas, it was like asking how many cups of sugar till you reach the moon. They both sat on a bench nearby, wondering like crazy what on earth to get him. A video game? It seemed to Birthday-Christmas-like. A toolbox? Like Ferb, Vanessa was pretty certain he wouldn't need any more. At one point, Heinz suggested a race car but with the reminder of the days' events, he decided against it quickly. Going through the evidence of Phineas being a "happy, friendly, fun-loving and adventure-seeking, inventor" once more, Heinz finally had an idea. It might not be perfect, but he hoped Phineas would like an electric-ball toy either way. And with groceries bought, paid for, and placed in the back of his pick-up-truck, he would soon find out.


	2. Chapter 2

_Laura: I'm sorry to those who thought the last chapter was rushed. I wrote part of this story a while back and then forgot all about it and am just NOW picking up the pieces. Only, I didn't wanna bother rewriting it all so I'm just posting it as I last saved it and then I'm gonna pick back up on it and finish it up. Hope you all enjoy it and thank you for reviewing thus far. ^_^_

* * *

"Oh my gosh, Phineas I just heard!", Isabella said as she came through the backyard gate. "I'm so sorry!"

Phineas and Ferb had not long been told by the police the incident of their parents death. It left an eerie chill in the whole house though it spread to the neighborhood like a wild fire. And as if it wasn't just that BOTH had died, but now Phineas and his siblings were supposed to live with this Heinz Doofenshmirtz guy. Candace didn't seem keen on explaining him further than "biological dad", but to live with someone you barely knew... It was still upsetting to the young boy as he laid against his tree with Ferb, for the last time. But it was hard to tell to the young girl. For Phineas didn't seem to shed a tear. Or bat an eye over it. He simply sat up some more with the same happy smile on his face. As if nothing had happened.

"Thanks, Isabella. It's... It's kinda hard..", he gave a nod, his smile faltering a bit. "It's...gonna be hard on all of us, I think."

"...Phineas... I'm sorry if this is rude, but.. Your parents just DIED."

"Yeah?"

"Well... I'm sorry but... why aren't you crying?", she shrugged in bewilderment.

"Oh I.. I cried.", Phineas nodded a bit. "I just.. Don't wanna cry forever... you know?"

All of a sudden, Phineas didn't really seem like Phineas to her. He was acting like he's hiding something from her. He avoided eye contact. He sniffled every once in a while and he kept rubbing his eyes. It must've been harder on him that she thought.

And for the most part, it was. But Phineas wasn't willing to show. He didn't want to cry. Not in front of Candace and Ferb. Not in front of Isabella. So ever since the news was broken to them, he tried to keep calm. And it wasn't easy. But he did his best to hide it with a smile and a petty lie of them being in a so-called "happy place". He wasn't going to break down into tears. Nope. Not him. Life is too precious for tears, yes siree.

"Um.. Ferb and I have to move away though.", Phineas said, catching Isabella by surprise. "You see... Dad... was never really my dad. Not my biological dad. I was too little to tell the difference. But my real dad.. he's coming to pick us up."

"...Where does he live?", Isabella asked, ready to burst into tears if Phineas said they would be separated by a great distance.

"In the downtown area of Danville.", he said, making Isabella groan in disbelief.

"What?! But that's so far away from here!", she exclaimed.

"I know... I'm gonna miss you..", Phineas said.

He reached up and hugged her close, trying harder than ever not to let a tear fall. Isabella was slightly surprised by the sudden closeness but returned the embrace herself, allowing the tears to fall. He was going away. For good! The only time they'd see each other would be IF she went that far into town for whatever reason and during school. To some kids, having a friend a few miles away isn't a big deal. To some kids, they only have friends that are half-way across the country! But the troubling thing is that when you're a kid. You don't have a lot of transportation options. When you're a kid, riding a bike from the suburbs to downtown was much longer than a car drive. You can't ride a bus by yourself. You can't drive a car. You can't really go much of anywhere without adult supervision. This, of course, was never a problem when it came to Phineas and Ferb dragging Isabella up to space or back and forwards in time. But at least her mom knew she as at the museum or with Phineas and Ferb. And if she said, "I was in space today!" it would normally be taken as a joke of imagination, anyway. So to say, "Mom, can I go downtown to visit a friend?", you might as well be asking if you COULD go half-way across the country to visit a friend! Not if it wasn't on your mom's schedule to go there. Not if you're going alone. And now the boy Isabella loved so dearly, so passionately, was going that far away.

"Y..you sure you have to leave?", she asked. "That far away?"

"Yeah.. It's.. It's where my dad lives.", Phineas shrugged.

"...I'm really gonna miss you.", Isabella said sadly as tears started to fall down her face.

"..Well.. It..it won't be that bad.", Phineas tried to be optimistic. "I-I mean... Isabella, why are you crying about this?"

She couldn't help it and she tried to explain it, try to tell Phineas about her true feelings towards him and how much she loved him, but all she could do was stutter and beat about the bush and internally, she hated the fact that even now, she was too afraid to tell him.

Ferb, however, has had enough drama at this point to watch her never get around to saying it before seeing them leave. There was only 16 minutes left. So he did the one thing he had to do. He stood up and turned on Isabella to make sure that she wouldn't get out of it.

"Oh just say tell him already!", he exclaimed before going into the house and giving them their space.

The sudden shout from the normally quiet kid is always surprising. Like a mouse that roars. And once the surprise had settled, Phineas only turned to face Isabella, all thoughts gathered onto one question.

"What's that all about?", Phineas asked as Isabella's face became bright red. "Tell me what?"

"Um... W-well...", she stammered. How on earth could she say it? Now of all times? Would it ruin their friendship? Would he end up not loving her and actually WANTING to move away? Could she manage to say it without passing out?

Father Time was a very cruel man however as Candace called out from the house for Phineas to come in and get his things together. Their dad was coming in only a few minutes now. Feeling a pull to the house, it didn't seem like Phineas wasn't gonna stay around for Isabella to finally work up the guts to say anything. The two kids stood up, Phineas trying to hide his fear and worry now, more than ever as he looked back at his best friend.

"I...better get going..", he said.

"...Yeah..", she said, a little choked up as she blinked back tears.

With only a moment's hesitation, Phineas quickly leaned forward to kiss her on the cheek before running inside. He hoped that this finally goodbye to her, would not be missed by the action. With the girl still slightly stunned in the backyard, Phineas ran into the house where Candace was having last minute condolences from her friends as she had described her worries of the change of address.

"Hey, don't worry, Girl. I'll call you as often as possible, kay?", Stacey reassured, "And remember. People do change over the years. Maybe this won't be as bad as you think."

"I guess.", Candace said, not really moved by the words.

"Candace, I work nearby. I'll visit you when I can.", Jeremy said, kissing her on the forehead.

"Thanks, Jeremy.", she smiled a bit, feeling a bit more confident.

"Hey, I think he's here.", Jenny noticed, glancing out the window.

With a gasp, Candace leapt off the couch and was up at the window to see a white and purple pick-up truck coming down the road, somewhat slowly. It had to be him. And Candace could feel her heart clenching in an old and very familiar fear.

'_"BEHOLD! The Toast-and-eggs-inator!"_', the words rang in her ears with an explosion following after it.

"Candace?", Stacey asked, placing a hand on her shoulder. "You okay?"

Candace simply stared out the window in memory and then turned to the trio.

"You guys should probably start going. We're leaving in a few minutes."

Knowing it was the truth, the friends left. Jeremy only hung back long enough to kiss his girlfriend one last goodbye before heading out. The kids got their things and stepped out onto the porch as the car came up the driveway. And for the while, there was an odd moment, like time had stopped for the anticipation, slight excitement, and fear of this new person. This incarnation of their childhood that would come back into their lives as if from the dead. Of course Candace had to face-palm herself as Heinz tripped over his seat belt, falling straight onto the ground when he came out of his car.


	3. Chapter 3

'That's Dad.', Candace thought.

'That's DAD?', Phineas questioned.

'Vanessa's here?!', Ferb thought to himself as he felt his cheeks begin to get hot, seeing her climb out of the car.

'WHAT ON EARTH IS HEINZ DOING HERE?!', Perry screamed in his mind as he begged to be released and run off to recuperate from the shock.

Heinz quickly picked himself up and untangled his legs from the belt before closing the door and looking back at the kids who waited there with a mixture of expressions. Candaces in the middle of a face-palm, Phineas was just watching in surprise, and Ferb barely even noticed as his eyes were glued to Vanessa in all surprise and shock. The platypus in Ferb's arms began to squirm and chatter uneasily. Heinz came up to the porch, the sickly fluttering sensation in his stomach rising as he watched them and tried to offer a smile, seeing Candace.

"Candace! I.. Wow, it's... Okay, I don't really know what to say now..", he deflated, already feeling defeated. "I wanna say it's great to see you again but... under the circumstances."

"Yeah. Hey Dad.", Candace said almost dismissively.

Understanding the connection between him and her closed, Heinz turned to Phineas and paused. A smile slowly appearing on his face as Heinz came down to his height. Normally Phineas wouldn't hesitate to meet someone new but it was a bit awkward. This was supposed to be his dad. But Phineas barely knew him.

"Hey, Phineas.", Heinz began. "I'm Heinz Doofenshmirtz. It's...it's real nice to meet you."

There was something weird about hearing that from him. Out of anything else he could've said, there was something familiar about it. Like a deja vu moment that's not supposed to exist. And Phineas smiled a bit, feeling a little more encouraged.

"Hi. It's nice to meet you too.", he said quietly.

Heinz held out a hand for a shake but Phineas mistook it more for a hug. Surprised by the action, Heinz simply hugged back, happy to not be hated straight from the start. And all of a sudden, Phineas just broke down. He couldn't help it for some reason. Hugging his dad, with the knowledge and memory of his mother and step-dad being dead. This new life he was being a part of. All of a sudden, a hug was the most comfort the boy could find as he poured out his tears on this, truthfully, stranger's shoulder. Heinz was worried some that it was because Phineas was mad or upset with HIM that he was crying but was quickly calmed by knowing and fully understanding the real cause. He simply hugged him tighter, rocked back and forth a bit, and shushed him quietly as everyone, including Candace, watched in surprise. Never had Phineas shed a tear over something. Never! But that was a good part of the problem. And Heinz knew it all too well. When Phineas had calmed down some, he backed up, wiping away his eyes.

"I'm sorry...", he croaked.

"Phineas, you fine.", Heinz said gently, making the boy smile some more. "It's a sad moment, really. You're perfectly fine for crying."

Heinz turned to Ferb and gave a small nod who returned it.

"Ferdinand. It's nice to meet you as well.", Heinz said, shaking hands with him.

"The same. Um.. You don't need to call me Ferdinand. Most people call me Ferb.", he said with a slight smile and nod.

"Ferb. Kay. I'll keep that in mind.", Heinz noted before finally noticing the platypus. "Hello! Who is this?"

"This is Perry. Our pet platypus.", Phineas introduced.

"...Perry?", Heinz said, understandably startled to suddenly hear such a thing. "As in Perry...the Platypus?

"Yup.", Phineas beamed happily.

Vanessa could easily make the connection and the expectant glance towards him confirmed that in Perry's mind. He could finally feel the breath escape him though as Heinz proved his idiocy and simply stood up with a smile.

"Well that's a coincidence! I know a platypus named Perry too!", he said happily. "Cute little fella there too."

Perry had to shiver in disgust as Heinz's hand ran through his fur but then the moment passed and the things were packed away. The kids were in the car and the group headed for their new home. Phineas and Ferb were sitting in a couple of fold-up chairs that were behind the driver's seat which fitted Heinz, Candace with Perry on her lap, and Vanessa with a bit of elbow room. And that's when things become so very quiet and frankly, quite awkward.

Heinz felt the need for a conversation. It was a family-must-have in his bloodline to talk of something. That was why he liked to ramble. But what of? The first subject to come to mind was Linda but the death of their mother was probably not a good topic. The new home? It would still be a bad reminder. Finally Heinz managed to clear his throat a bit and smile back at Phineas in the rear view mirror.

"So.. Kids, have you been enjoying your Summer Vacation?", he asked.

Ferb and Candace both glanced sideways at Phineas as he was the first to look up and smile widely again. He gave an excited nod with something of a sparkle in his eyes.

"Yeah! Summer's been a blast!", he answered quickly.

"Really?", Heinz asked, relieved for an ice-breaker. "Whatcha been doing?"

"Oh all sorts of things! From water balloon fights to tree houses to building roller coasters and portals to Mars, saving the galaxy, finding Atlantis, traveling through time, creating a molecular separator, making a shrinking submarine-"

"Well! It certainly sounds like you guys have quite the imagination!", Heinz laughed some, amused of the idea of his kids running around the yard, pretending with one another.

At this, Phineas' smile faded and he replied, "Imagination? Uh, no... Dad. We actually did that stuff."

"Oh come now, Phineas. Traveled through time? Didn't you learn that Xavier Onansis tried that and never succeeded? And he was a grown man!"

"But it's true! We even have pictures. We have a whole scrapbook!", Phineas said, astonished Heinz wasn't believing them.

"Really?", Heinz said, still thinking he was just talking of his imagination.

"No. Seriously.", Candace said. "I've been trying to tell Mom all Summer long. They really build this sorta stuff. All the time."

The truth began to sink into Heinz's mind as he blinked a bit, slightly confused.

"Wait... You mean to tell me Phineas and Ferb ACTUALLY found Atlantas? ACTUALLY saved the galaxy?"

"Twice!", Phineas smiled with pride.

Heinz was only silent hearing this. Eyes wide in something of a fear. But shouldn't he be PROUD that his children were so smart? Were so amazing? But then again, how much did Linda know about this? Heinz could practically see the whole situation all over again as his mind reeled back so many years. Back when Phineas was just barely old enough to remember and Heinz and Linda had been apart for a few years.

_"E-excuse me.", a small boy with red hair said, tugging on Heinz's lab coat._

_The man looked down to find his heart leap into his throat. How could he mistake the boy to be none other than Phineas? Teary-eyed and with a face contorted in familiar fear Heinz had personally experienced, this small boy wiped off some snot from his nose and cleared his throat for an introduction._

_"H...Hi.", he said in a small quavering voice. "Can.. Can you help me find my mommy?"_

_Why of everyone in the store, Heinz was picked for this, he'll never understand. But how he could turn down that small little boy's innocent face, was something beyond possibility. Especially since Heinz knew all too well how much emotional turmoil fear will cause someone. He agreed to do so as he bent down to wipe away a few tears with his handkerchief and took Phineas by the hand and began to walk him through the store. Seeing the kindness stretched out to him, Phineas smiled cheerfully and held on tightly to him._

_"Where did you last see her?", Heinz asked._

_"In the cereal aisle. I was looking at a toy.", Phineas explained. "But when I looked around, she was gone."_

_"I see.", Heinz gave a nod._

_Searching there, it was plain to see the target had moved. And so they walked on and on, up and down the aisles. Heinz quietly admitted to himself it was really nice to be doing this. Yes, it was holding him back from going on with his schedule but he was with Phineas. And Phineas seemed really happy to be with him. An odd comfort in a troubling situation, really. But Heinz, luckily, spotted Linda first and bent down again to point her out to Phineas._

_"Hey, Phineas? Is that her?", he asked._

_Phineas took one look at the woman with her back towards them and zoomed down the aisle as fast as his legs could carry him, happier than ever to be back._

_"Mommy!", Phineas exclaimed, hugging her legs._

_Linda looked down in slight surprise, none the wiser where her son was but returned the hug all the same._

_"Yes?", she asked._

_"Mommy, I thought you were lost!", Phineas said. "Then a nice man showed me where you were. See?"_

_Phineas turned around but by then Heinz had already ducked into another aisle to remain hidden from view. Linda glanced about but found no one and she, Phineas, and Candace, continued on their way while Heinz stole another glance from around the corner._

"LOOK OUT!", a voice suddenly cut through his flash back and Candace reached over to jerk the steering wheel, making the car jerk out of the way from running off the road.

Everyone quickly clutched their seats as the car shifted and Candace turned angrily to the driver responsible.

"Heinz! You're gonna get us killed like Mom and Dad!", she shouted at him. "Pay attention to the freaking road!"

Heinz was very easily at a shock and quickly turned his wide and fearful eyes back at the road. But his surprise was insignificant in comparison to everyone else's. Especially Phineas and Vanessa's.

"...Candace, I'm...", he began, glancing over at her.

"Bewege dich nicht!", Candace suddenly shouted.

That made him completely freeze up and look straight ahead, but Phineas had no clue what she said. Perry and Vanessa understood, but Perry was as clueless as Phineas and Ferb were that Candace even KNEW Druslestinian.

The car trip was silent until Heinz pulled over to get more gas. He stepped out and after the door was closed, Phineas turned to Candace and shocked the whole car.

"WHY ON EARTH DID YOU HAVE TO DO THAT?!", he shouted at her angrily. "You didn't have to go and say he'd KILL us!"

Candace was momentarily in shock but her scowl quickly returned as she looked over her seat at him.

"Phineas, he could've! And it's no real surprise either! He was trying to kill us the moment I was BORN!"

"What?!", Phineas asked, now completely clueless.

"Phineas. It may have been a long time ago but it's the EXACT reason why I tried to tell Mom so many times about what you and Ferb were up to! That man who CLAIMS to be our dad has the same friggin' inventing genes you and I carry! The only reason why I don't pick up a screwdriver is because HE. BLOWS UP. EVERYTHING! Everything he TOUCHES gets destroyed! Look at his and Mom's relationship for starters!"

"Whoa, Candace calm down! I know! He did the same thing when I was little!", Vanessa said, placing an uneasy hand on her shoulder. "But that's no reason to yell Druslestinian at him!"

"Well it's high-time someone did!", Candace huffed.

"But you KNOW what that does to him, I'm sure!", Vanessa pleaded, hoping Candace's fury would calm down.

"Yeah. He's all emotional and whatnot because he had to stand out in the yard as a lawngnome when he was a kid. I heard it a million times.", Candace rolled her eyes along with Perry.

"So why on earth did you have to go and blurt that out to him?!", Vanessa growled.

"CAUSE HE'S A DANGEROUS MANIAC!", Candace snarled back. "I don't care how much time you may have gotten to know him Vanessa, but five years was enough for me! I don't WANT to know him! I don't WANT to be with him! I! HATE! HEINZ!"

As the words left her mouth, the car became deadly silent. Perry was in a great deal of surprise from this revelation of his owner's sister. He hadn't known she knew much of anything about Heinz. He certainly didn't think it possible for a girl like Candace to generate so much hatred and anger towards one person. Not even HE hated Heinz THAT badly and HE was his nemesis! But after an awkward moment of silence, Candace finally settled on a sigh and looking out the window at nothing in particular. It took Phineas to say the first words.

"...At least I'm trying to be nice.", he said quietly and very coldly.

"...Oh whatever.", Candace rolled her eyes.

She detatched Perry from her lap, muttered something about the bathroom, and headed out of the car. Vanessa sighed and followed after. She didn't exactly know what she could say to Candace. But she did know more about Heinz and for much longer than Candace did. The least of what Vanessa could do, was try to pass on a little father-daughter wisdom.

Phineas and Ferb sat quietly in the car. Neither saying a word. Ferb was simply waiting for Phineas to start talking, but ever since the news was broken to them that Linda and Lawrence died, Phineas hadn't been acting like himself. Remote, crying, cold, it seemed nothing would prepare Ferb at this moment for anything Phineas could say. But when Phineas did speak, it was something of a relief to know it was more to home of Phineas' normal persona.

"...Hey Ferb?", he began, looking back up from the floor to his brother. "Is...Is it just me or does Dad...sound familiar?"

Ferb thought about this for a moment. And for a more sickening moment, Perry feared they had stumbled onto supposedly forgotten memories of the second dimension. But after some contemplation, Ferb shook his head with a shrug.

"Might've heard him around town.", he simply said.

"...It seems like I heard him somewhere...somewhere... a long time ago..", Phineas said, staring back into space as he retraced his memories.

The most Phineas could muster was darkness, really. He could hear that voice though. Muffled, it seemed.

'"Hey Phineas. How are you today?"', he heard in his head.

Phineas simply shrugged and gave a curious look to Ferb.

"I really have no idea.", he said. "It just sounds familiar."

"Well, he is your dad.", Ferb shrugged. "Something of an old memory?"

"Can I really remember that far back?", Phineas asked, scratching the back of his head.

"I'm sorry to say, I'm not sure, Phineas.", Ferb simply said with a shake of his head.

They were quiet once again and Ferb took a moment to look out the window. The events of the day settled on his mind and for the while, he felt an old and familiar tug at his heart. It was more painful to talk about family for him than it may be for Phineas. Or even Vanessa. At least she knows her mom. At least Phineas has actual memories of Linda. And Ferb's own memories retraced back to those painful days. The days he remembered living with his aunt and uncle while Dad was away on business and his mum was in the hospital...dying.


	4. Chapter 4

_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorperateeed!_

When the Flynn-Doofenshmirtz-Fletcher family arrived at the DEI, Phineas smiled at the catchy tune. It certainly was welcoming. And once inside, some carrying groceries, some carrying suit cases, Heinz suddenly came to a stop before unlocking his apartment door and looked uneasily at the Flynn-Fletchers.

"...What?", Candace asked, raising a suspicious eyebrow.

"...Well there's um.. Eheh. There's some family of mine that's uh.. visiting for a family reunion...", Heinz started off to explain. "And I already told them you guys were coming and chances are, once you go through the door, they'll... Well they'll pounce on you and go through the rituals and whatnot of accepting you into the family and everything. And they're a bit...odd. So sorry if you're a bit um... startled.."

"This oughta be good for a laugh.", Vanessa said with a smirk.

"Really?", Phineas asked, a little unsure.

Heinz unlocked the door, warned the kids to put their things on the floor, and opened it up. They walked in and no sooner had they taken five steps into the room than they WERE pounced on. By ocelots. With screams of terror, the kids were easily pinned soundly to the floor by three large cheetah-like felines. Each one with wide, green, luminous eyes that studied their characters carefully with a deep growl in their throats.

"K-keep calm! It's alright!", Heinz tried to help, though he was soon pounced on by his own ocelot mother and licked thoroughly. "Aah! M-Mom! Oh, come on!"

Candace whimpered and shut her eyes tightly as she looked away, so sure she was nothing but a meal now when a rough and sticky tongue rubbed up against her cheek. Before Candace knew it, the growling had been understood as purring from her brothers who were laughing and rolling about as the ocelots continue to lick them thoroughly on every skinned area that was exposed past the clothes, determined to make the kids smell like all the rest of them.

"Ahh! No!", Phineas giggled as one ocelot continued to lick his ears. "Stop licking my earwax! That tickles!"

"Aa-AAH! HEY! WATCH IT!", Candace growled at the cub as it began licking her legs.

Heinz had finally managed to overthrow his foster-mom as the kids began to sit up and the mother ocelot came by to gently rub her head up against each one lovingly as a loud purr emitted. The cubs then went on to sniff about the platypus that trailed behind and also clean him, much to Perry's quiet dislike.

"Now, Candace, honey?", Heinz began as he came over to help her up. "I-I'm sorry I didn't tell you that they were-"

"Oh just forget it!", Candace groaned. "Only YOU could be possibly weirder than your son to have cheetahs in your house!"

"Actually, dear, they're ocelots.", Heinz corrected with a sheepish grin.

"It doesn't matter!", she snapped back as she stood up.

"Candace, calm down a bit.", Vanessa tried to keep herself calm as she placed a hand on her sister's shoulder.

"Calm down?! _CALM DOWN?!_", she was practically screaming now. "HOW on earth am I supposed to CALM DOWN when my parents DIE and I'm stuck here with this _FREAK_!?"

She had pointed a finger at Heinz as she ranted but Vanessa only narrowed her eyes. While normally she had an issue if anyone but her was to say anything bad about her dad, she couldn't really say anything when a sibling did it too.

"Candace, let's get your bags, and you and I go to my room and try to calm down.", Vanessa repeated, trying to be nice as she placed another hand on Candace's other shoulder. "We've all had a long day. There's a lot to take in. Let's just get the bags and go settle you in."

Candace simply folded her arms across her chest, but it was what she wanted to do so she agreed. As the sisters walked into the bedroom, an ocelot tailed along behind them, but Vanessa calmly pushed it aside as they closed the door behind them.

Once the door was closed, Heinz heaved a sigh and hung his head.

"I shoulda seen this coming..", he said to himself as his foster-mother tried to comfort him with loving rubs of her head and a low, gentle, purr.

"Should've seen what coming?", Phineas asked as he stood up from the floor with an ocelot cub in his hands while Ferb carried Perry.

"...Well... It's a long term pattern that when people get to know me they...they generally tend to hate me.", Heinz said, putting his hands in his pockets as he kicked the ground a bit. "And not that I TRY to make them hate me, they just...do. For some reason or another they always do."

Phineas felt bad as he continued to stroke the animal underneath. He wanted to say something but before he could start to say anything, somebody else interrupted.

"All done with putting away the groceries, sir!", Norm said happily as he came back in.

"WHOA!", Phineas gasped as he saw Norm. "Who's THAT?!"

"Oh, this is Norm, my giant robot man.", Heinz shrugged, still in a slump

"That's...! That's...!", Phineas was actually speechless as he smiled up at Norm.

"Incredible?", Ferb offered, surprising the doctor.

"MORE than that!", Phineas said, almost squealed in response.

Heinz looked between the kids and Norm before finally setting his gaze on Phineas and Ferb.

"Who? NORM?", he asked in bewilderment.

"YEAH!", Phineas nodded. "I love robots!"

"It's nice to have someone finally appreciate me!", Norm said happily.

"Well, then, Norm, this is Phineas and Ferb, Phineas and Ferb, this is Norm.", Heinz introduced.

"It's great to meet you!", Phineas said happily as he shook hands with Norm.

"Really? ME?", Norm asked, shaking hands with Ferb now.

"Absolutely.", Ferb began. "While a number of new inventions are being made on a constant basis, robots are perhaps one of the only things that won't ever become unimpressive."

"Thank you for your very kind and touching words!", Norm replied, mentally wishing he was human to really show how touched he is by this.

Doof couldn't help but chuckle seeing the boys get along so nicely with Norm, "Come on Phineas and Ferb. Let's get the bags and get you boys settled into your room."

Norm helped with the luggage and Heinz showed the two to their room. It was a decently sized bedroom with two beds, an end table between the beds and the walls, and a small desk in the corner. As they walked in, Heinz was blathering on about how he was thinking about repainting the walls from the ocean blue they were to something more lively for the kids, but didn't have time to stop and fully think it through yet. The first thing Phineas had to say though, gave Heinz some relief.

"Cool! Is that that little electric, ball toy?", he asked, pointing at the one beside his bed.

"Oh! Yeah. It's a room warming gift.", Heinz smiled sheepishly. "I-I hope you like it, I didn't really know what to get you. Ferb, there's a bonsai tree near your bed there, Vanessa helped pick it out."

Ferb came over to the bonsai tree and smiled at it while Phineas was bubbling with his usual happiness.

"It's awesome! Thanks, Doc-er.. Dad!", Phineas smiled happily, hugging his legs.

Heinz was momentarily speechless. He was relieved to know Phineas liked the toy, he was surprised to feel the boy hugging him, he was wanting to cry in joy that his son was so loving and so nice, and yet...

"Y-you're welcome Phineas but...you don't have to call me 'dad' if you don't wanna.", he shrugged, mentally cursing himself to first go on THAT tangent instead of just being happy for Phineas. "NOT to say that I don't want you to call me dad or anything but.. Well.. You know whatever's comfortable to you."

"Well.. You are my dad, aren't you?", Phineas asked, backing up a bit and sitting on the edge of the bed nearby. "So why shouldn't I call you dad?"

"Well, I know you already had a dad and you...hadn't known me as long..", Heinz deflated, hating to bring this up more and more.

"...Why did you leave?", Phineas asked in plain curiosity.

Doof glanced back, slightly surprised, but sighed again and sat down on the bed beside him and Ferb.

"It was a long time ago..", he began. "Before Candace was even born. Your mom and I met one night while I was um...let's say I was feeling down. ...Very down about myself. I hated myself so much, that one night I was trying to get ran over by a car. It happened to be your mom's car and she drove me back home, trying to help convince me that suicide wasn't what to do."

Phineas nodded with a bit of a smile.

"That sounds just like Mom.", he said.

"Yeah. Well... After that we got to talking to each other, and seeing each other, and we fell in love as most people do.", Heinz shrugged. "But the problem is...I wouldn't marry her. See, I had only gotten out of a divorce a year before we got together, with my exwife, Charlene. I didn't wanna marry Linda, not because I didn't love her, but because I was afraid of divorcing. It was unusual, but we lived together and tried to keep things happy. Candace of course, came along and so did you, and while you were still a baby, your Mom kicked me out. She said she was tired of waiting for me to get over being afraid of divorce and putting up with my silly inventions and everything. She kicked me out and the last time I ever got to see you and Candace was for Candace's sixth birthday. I was there long enough to dress up as Ducky Momo, wish her a happy birthday, and explain I had to leave for reasons she wouldn't understand."

Phineas's smile was gone by this point, and he looked at the man sorrowfully. Even Ferb seemed hurt to hear this.

"..I'm sorry..", Phineas said.

"Not your fault Phineas.", Heinz shrugged.

"I know. ...But I still feel sorry.", he said simply.

Heinz smiled a bit and hugged Phineas.

"It's okay. At least I have you guys now.", he tried to reassure.

Phineas nodded and hugged him back. Afterwards, Heinz agreed to let the two be alone for a while, let everything sink in. He closed the door behind them and for a moment, Phineas and Ferb were simply quiet. He on his own bed. And then Ferb noticed the silence, and looked over. But no sooner had he looked over than did he fell crushed to see Phineas' sad expression. And then a tear. And more tears. Until Phineas was trying hard to at least not sob as more and more fell down his face.

"Phineas?", Ferb began, coming over to sit beside his brother.

Phineas finally caved into a sob as he wiped up his tears as best he could. Ferb knew what the cause was and couldn't help but cry a bit himself.

"I miss them..", Phineas said quietly. "I miss Mom and Dad..."

Ferb hugged him tightly and whispered, "I miss them too.."

Now that they were alone and there was enough time to sink in the whole day, it was more than what Phineas could take. It did hurt. Honestly it did. But of course he never wanted to worry anyone, so he tried to push along like he was just fine and dandy with it.

But the truth of the matter was that it IS terrifying to be told that your parents died. It DID tear his heart to shreds. He's NOT used to the idea of living with another man. He's not even sure if he wants to call this stranger "dad"! But he does wanna get along and he does wanna still try to be happy. But you can never know how painful it is to lose a loved one until you actually experience it yourself. And it was a pain Phineas had never known and never wanted to know.

It stung, it burned, it actually made him feel cold. Like all of Summer had suddenly disappeared into bleak, dark, Winter. Poor Phineas couldn't think of what to do for this pain, other than to cry and let it hurt even more. He wished for the moment he didn't have emotions so he wouldn't feel this pain. This terrible loss. Every sob he heaved, made his head throb in pain, worse and worse by the breath. Every tear that fell down his face made him feel cold and lonely. Every memory of his parents, and the fun they would all have together as a family, made him think his heart was literally tearing.


	5. Chapter 5

In in the girls' bedroom, Vanessa was helping Candace unpack and the two teenagers worked in silence. Vanessa was the first to break it as she closed the top of the trunk before Candace could reach in.

"Alright. Who are you and what have you really done with Candace?", Vanessa questioned, more of a joke than anything.

Candace didn't take to the joke and only scowled back in response.

"I don't know what you're talking about.", she simply said.

"What happened to Ms. Sunshine? You know, whatever happened to that little, annoying, ball of happiness and smothering love that I knew when I was a kid? That little girl who always clung to me when I visited and wanted to play with me and Dad.", Vanessa asked.

"She grew up.", Candace retorted. "I don't care anymore."

"...you know, it's a real shame. I think even I missed her.", Vanessa said simply, opening the trunk again so they could continue. "I don't miss her nearly as much as Dad does, though."

"Vanessa, how can you stand being with him? He blows everything up into a million pieces, he's not always with you, he's so crazy and insane, I can't even really consider him as capable of being a fatherly figure!"

"Is it that he's not always with me, or that I'm not always with him?", Vanessa snapped. "Candace, I haven't always seen him, everyday of my life, but I have gotten to know him for longer than you have. I know that he tends to mess things up, but I also know that he does at least care about me and just tries to do what's best for me! You don't have to hate him, just because you haven't seen him in 9 years!"

"I haven't seen him in 9 years because he suddenly up and left me and Phineas!", Candace growled back. "And he just now decides to come back into my life?! With no explanation of where he's been?"

"He's a grown man, Candace, he doesn't have to explain everything to you! And he would at least give SOME sort of an explanation, if you actually took the time to calm down and ask him nicely!"

"He said he'd come back when I was 6! 9 YEARS, Vanessa! What could've possibly have forced to keep him away for so long? You'd think he'd at least TRY to get my mom to agree to letting me see him like your mom did you!"

"I can't answer for Dad, Candace. But I can speak for him when I say this; the man loves you, me, and Phineas, all, equally, and loves us more than his own life.", Vanessa said, the two locked in a cold, hard, stare at one another. Vanessa's eyes narrowed a bit more as she spoke next. "But being his daughter, of course you'd be too stubborn to stop and hear what someone else has to say. You just like to be wrapped up in your own little world."

Vanessa stormed out of the room in a huff, leaving a very irritated, and spiteful sister behind. Candace snorted to herself after the door was shut, but then allowed the words to sink in. Not just Vanessa's words, but her own too. Way back when she was Ms. Sunshine to everyone.

_"Come on, Vanessa! Let's play together!", little Candace tried to urge her sister, tugging her arm while Vanessa sat on the couch, trying to read a book._

_"NO.", Vanessa said simply, pulling her arm back._

_"Pleeeeeeeaaaase?", Candace would beg._

She begged and begged and begged until Vanessa finally agreed. Memories of their laughter and fun washed over Candace, turning her anger more into sorrow. She remembered even playing with her dad, way back when.

_"Oh, Candace, I'm so proud of you! Did you do this all by yourself?", he asked, looking at a small model of a windmill made from tinker toys._

_"Yes! Yes I did!", Candace said with childish pride. "Ooh! Ooh! And come look at this!", she pulled him over to where a few magnets were sat up with a circle of magnets in the middle, spinning about on its own. "I got it to spin off of the repel and attraction between the two magnets sticking out of the circle and the two sticks pointing up at it!"_

_"Really? Well well! you're a regular little genius there, aren't you?", Heinz said, ruffling her hair a bit. "Keep this up, I'm gonna have to find something more challenging for you to work with. Hey, maybe Mommy will let you help me fix the car sometime."_

_Candace giggled and pushed his hand off her head while saying, "No! I'm too little!"_

_"Look behind you, Ducky Momo!"_, Candace and Heinz were yelling in another memory as they watched Ducky Momo on TV. _"Behind you! Behind you! No no no! Look! Look right over there! Look behind you!"_

Eventually, Candace found herself sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the Ducky Momo alarm clock Vanessa helped her set up. Tears fell down her face as she looked back on the days. The memories eventually evolved into more and more painful thoughts as she remember her father leaving her on her sixth birthday. And how he said he would come back as soon as he could. She remembered watching Phineas grow up and how she'd see him invent away, even more than she did. How out shined she felt and how Linda never caught what was going on. How close Phineas ever came to getting hurt and how much Candace feared he would get hurt like their dad did when a toaster blew up in his face. She remembered the past Summer and all the sarcasm and the harsh jokes and the cold remarks her mother would make. The labeling of being a freak. The knowledge and understanding that she probably IS a freak.

Thoughts dwindled away in Candace's memories, full of pain and sorrow for the loss of her mother and step-dad as the tears flooded and stained her pillow. She eventually fell asleep, right there on the bed, drowning in her misery.

Time passed and Candace woke up in time to smell dinner being cooked. She came out of her bedroom to find Phineas and Ferb were happily loving on the ocelots on the couch, Vanessa was on the computer, and the mother ocelot came up to greet her, purring lovingly as she rubbed her head against the teenager's legs. Candace lazily gave the panther a pet on the head when her nose caught a whiff of something. Something alarming to the teenage girl. Something..that came from the kitchen.

She walked in to find Heinz cooking dinner, singing along with the radio.

"_Bow chicka bow-wow. That's what my baby said. Mow mow mow, and my heart starts_-", Heinz was singing as he was sauteing a few vegetables.

"DAD!", Candace barked, making the man jump. She began to cough. "What in the world- _(cough cough!)_ a-are you doing?!"

"Candace?", he whirled around in surprise.

Candace was hacking now, and her skin was turning a bright red. Heinz easily became very alarmed and came over as Candace came to her knees, still hacking.

"Candace?! Candace, what's wrong?", he asked in fear.

"D-dad...! _(cough cough!)_ Why are you cooking with parsnips?! _(cough cough!)_", Candace asked, her voice getting raspy.

"What?", he asked, not catching all of it.

"Parsnips! The parsnips!", she tried to say, until her voice finally went through the allergic reaction and surprised her father as she said in a deep, growly, manly voice. "PARSNIPS! _(cough!)_ Why are you cooking with the stupid parsnips?! I'm allergic to them!"

Doof jumped back in shock as he heard Candace's voice. The teenager stood up and pulled him out of the room before taking out her pills from her purse on the end table.

"Candace, what on earth happened to your voice?!", he exclaimed.

"Candace, did you get near parsnips again?", Phineas asked, looking over the couch as she stormed into the room.

"Yes.", Candace said before she finally swallowed her pills. "Yes I did! Because SOMEONE here forgot I was allergic to parsnips!"

"Candace, I didn't know you were! I never knew!", Heinz rolled his eyes. "I left before I found out! I'm sorry, honey. I thought it would be a nice dinner."

"Yeah, because choking to death on parsnips is such a WONDERFUL way of saying that you really care!", Candace growled.

"Now hold it _right there_, Little Lady!", Heinz snapped back, surprising Vanessa, Phineas, Perry, and Ferb a bit. "I didn't know you were allergic to parsnips! I DO, however, know what it's like to be allergic to things! But just because I happened to have parsnips for dinner, it doesn't mean you need to get on your high horse about it!"

Candace only scowled back, not really finding much of a response in return.

"Now you can either appreciate the fact that I'm trying to cook you guys a nice, warm, home-made meal, or you can turn yourself around and spend the night in your room!", Heinz pressed on.

"Dad!", Vanessa gasped.

"I can discipline, Vanessa.", Doof said, glancing at her a bit. "Or else I wouldn't love my children as much as I do."

Candace simply sighed and sat on the couch beside Phineas.

"Whatever.", she simply said.

Heinz bit his lip from saying anything about her attitude, and went back to the kitchen to undo his mistake. The living room was silent for the most part, until the ocelot kits looked at one another curiously and gave a few low growls and meows. Perry, being the ever loyal and loving pet, waddled over from Ferb's lap onto Candace's and sat himself down with a small plop. Candace looked down at the bundle of blue fur, and gently stroked him. It was like he already knew how frustrated she was feeling. Which he did, but not to her awareness. Pretty soon a couple of the ocelots rubbed their heads against her arms and Candace found herself calming down as the warmth from the furry mammals cascaded over her thoughts. They were so soft, so sleek. It was surprising that the cats lived in the wild. She gave a small sigh and leaned back into the couch, and things in the room seemed to slowly return to its former peace.

When dinner was made, the family sat down and continued eating. The most of the conversation was of their plans for tomorrow, holding the funeral for Phineas, Ferb, and Candace's parents, and what inventions and adventures Phineas and Ferb had all throughout Summer.

"And we were planning on building an emergency escape slide that leads into a jacuzzi, but we didn't get the time.", Phineas explained, telling the story of the family being stranded on an island for a day.

"And you actually built this whole house with crabs and pelicans and everything?", Heinz asked with a chuckle.

"Don't doubt it, Dad. That's just Phineas and Ferb for you.", Vanessa smiled, making Ferb's heart flutter with delight to hear such from her.

"Yup!", Phineas smiled brightly. "It's almost a shame we ran out of time, but you know with the pink lava and all."

"Pink lava?", Heinz asked.

"Yeah. Before we could finish, the volcano on the island began to erupt and pink lava washed away our work, we surfed our way on it, and landed on the boat in time for the lava to push it out to sea.", Phineas explained.

Doof stopped to ponder for a moment. He knew lava. He's been dared to go into a volcano once when he was a kid.

"...Phineas, I don't mean to disagree with your story, what with you being there and all, I'm sure you know it better than me, but... I don't think I've ever heard of lava being pink.", Heinz shook his head. "What um.. Do you know what island you were on?"

"It's not far out of Danville's way. You could still just make out the beach from the shore.", Phineas explained.

Doof pondered this for a moment.

"You know, when you come to think of it, the lava smelled a lot like a laundry mat.", Ferb commented.

"Laundry?", Doof asked, now even more dumfounded.

"Oh yeah! And it had large bubbles and looked kind of soapy and watery.", Phineas nodded. "You know.. I actually always liked that laundry-mat-smell."

"Me too, but when did you say this happened?", Heinz continued to ask, trying to find some answer for it.

"Um.. Gosh, when was it Ferb? It feels like Summer's been going on for years!", Phineas chuckled "Um.. I think it was.."

Ferb pulled up a notebook with a calendar on it and Phineas nodded as he saw it.

"OH! Yeah. We made that June 13th.", Phineas answered. "Thanks Ferb."

Ferb put the book away and Vanessa couldn't help but smile a bit, finding it amusingly odd that Ferb had a notebook of all their adventures.

"...June 13th?", Heinz asked, now a bit more alarmed. Even Perry's head perked up a bit from his supper dish, hearing the date.

"Yup."

"And..this wasn't at the Isle of Spleen?", Heinz asked. "You know, that island right in the middle of Danville's lake?

"Yeah..", Phineas nodded, a bit slower.

"Dad, are you alright?", Vanessa asked. "You're having one of those, weird, revolutionary looks or something."

"...I... Ph.. Gosh, I think your tiki house was wiped away because of ME!", Doof exclaimed.

"_YOU?_", the kids asked in surprise.

"Yeah! I..wow! This is weird, but Phineas, I think you crashed onto the same island I was using to do a massive amount of laundry for... Well reasons aside, but I was doing a bunch of laundry and then one of my helpers put in WAY too much laundry detergent and the whole thing flooded over."

For the moment, everyone was silent. And then Phineas started chuckling, and then laughing.

"WOW! That's such a huge coincidence!", he laughed. "And a funny thing to happen to a bunch of laundry! We were THAT close to seeing you again! How hilarious would it have been if at least Candace or I saw you again RIGHT at that moment?"

"Actually, Phineas, I have seen Dad around before, but I didn't exactly remember him.", Candace explained, making Heinz force himself not to spit out his water all over the table. "When I was being a fireside girl-scout and I had to deliver all those muffins? One of the addresses was Dad's house. I didn't recognize the name or the man at the time. It was years ago since I last saw him."

"Holy doonkleberries, that WAS you!", Heinz choked a bit on his drink as he made sure it went down. "WOW! When else had we ever crossed paths?"

"Well you were here while Dad was at Druslestein to renew his driver's license.", Vanessa mentioned, causing Perry to shiver in memory of the driving test.

"...Oh yeah!", Candace said in surprise. "Yeah, and that's when I found his big..thingy. Ray or something. Pointed right at the backyard.", she stopped for a moment before looking back in almost fear. "You haven't been SPYING on us have you?!"

"NO.", Heinz said with certainty. "No, I don't know why my inator was pointed at your backyard."

"Well it was weird. I looked through the little telescope and there was Phineas and Ferb thingy in the backyard, that thing that helped get you guys to Druslestein for doonkleberries, and the next time I looked through it, it was gone!"

"You guys were in Druslestein?", Heinz asked, almost afraid of what number of things that happened to him, would've happened to them.

"Oh yeah. But only for a small time. We needed to get doonkleberries so Mom could make her...doonkleberry..pie.", Phineas' smile slowly disappeared as Linda's home cooking came back over him.

"...Phineas?", Vanessa asked.

"..I'm fine.", Phineas said, rubbing his eyes a bit. "I just.. I-I..."

"...Mom used to love making us pie.", Candace nodded, she and Ferb were also feeling down from the memories.

"...yeah.", Phineas nodded.

The table suddenly grew quiet. Heinz, wanting to do something to cheer his kids up, but he wasn't sure if he should speak at the moment. Fortunately for him, Vanessa spoke before him.

"You know, Dad has a doonkleberry pie in the oven.", Vanessa said in slight encouragement.

"OH MY INATORS!", he exclaimed suddenly racing from the chair, causing it to fall over.

Candace face-palmed herself and Phineas gave a weak chuckle.

"Does he normally leave his pie in the oven?", Phineas asked.

"No.", Vanessa chuckled. "But he does make a good pie. I wouldn't be surprised if it was the same recipe your mom used."

Phineas smiled more and Perry gave a small shrug and nod to himself. Chances were with Linda's love to cook and Heinz's family recipes, they did share a few here recipes and there. Especially pie recipes.

Heinz came back out of the kitchen, taking off the oven mitts and setting them on the table nearby him.

"Sorry about that.", he apologized as he sat down.

"It's okay. I'm sure it's gonna taste great.", Phineas said brightly.

And he was right. Even Candace had to admit, the pie was really good.

Everyone went to bed easily that night, except Heinz. He stayed awake in bed, unable to fall asleep. He was worried for Candace. First day of being her dad again and she hates him more than he's ever been hated before. And this coming from the girl that openly admitted that he was her favorite person when she was younger. What if...Phineas became the same way? Or Ferb? What if they all hated him and they had to be taken away again? He quivered at the thought. Not again. He didn't want to lose his children just because they had a broken family. He fell asleep eventually as tears continued to slip onto the pillow.


	6. Chapter 6

Heinz was running late...again. He felt like he's been doing that a lot lately.

The next day was not all that easy. First, Candace woke up the whole family as she screamed in terror of finding a three-foot tall ocelot with bright, green, luminous eyes staring at her right in the face. Secondly, everyone was actually waking up later than they needed to and they were all rushing to eat breakfast, get bathed, dressed, and ready to head out the door for the funeral. The shower-inator that Heinz had made for such occasions, was busted. Norm's oil can was unscrewed so he couldn't transform into a car. Instead, everyone had to be squished up against each other, yet again, in their thick black outfits, in a small pick-up truck. And this is after they went through umpteen lint-rollers to remove the ocelot hair from the black clothes. As they approached the car, Candace placed her hand on Heinz's door before he had a chance to open it.

"I'm driving.", she demanded earning a curious look from the other. "We're late as it is, if you have any trust in me, you'll let me drive."

"Do you even have a license, Candace?", Heinz asked.

"I have a learner's permit, so PERMIT me to LEARN how to get us all to a funeral on time."

Heinz seemed unsure at first, but agreed to, hoping to give her a good impression that he did trust her. Phineas and Ferb, sitting in the back, took one look at each other when they heard Heinz agree and quickly began to strap themselves in more tightly.

With the car racing down the streets by Candace's own determination and a abrupt but smoothly done, parallel park, the family managed to make it to the funeral on time.

The funeral, itself, was very sad. As most would be. There were a few speeches by family of Linda and Lawrence, who's bodies were hidden in two coffins, and of course, crying by most of the family. Even Phineas. While the ceremony went on, though, Heinz couldn't help but hear something in the back and glance over to notice his friend, Robert Bloodpudding, had stepped in and was waiting in the back. With his bright, red, flame-shaped hair held down by a ponytail and a nice, and simple, black suit on. The man kept his attention on the ceremony, and after it was over and the kids were swept up by the family in mourning, Heinz made his way to the back where Robert nodded as he approached.

"You know, you didn't have to come.", Heinz said, still wiping up a few tears.

"Yeah, but it meant a lot to you.", Robert shrugged. "I'm sorry about Linda."

"Thanks. Yeah. I.. I think the kids are taking it harder than me though.", Heinz said, looking back to do a quick head-count.

"So, they're under your custody now?", Robert asked.

"Yes, yes they are. And their step-brother Ferb.", Heinz nodded.

"Ferb? Hm.. Weird name."

"Family thing, I guess.", Heinz shrugged.

"...You still didn't have a thing for Linda did you?", Robert asked, noticing Heinz's face slowly changing into melancholy.

"...Not..exactly. ...But I left her the ring."

"You still kept it?"

"Just in case..", Heinz shrugged. "In case we ever saw each other again, in case I was ever able to explain myself that I was planning on asking her like, the very night she kicked me out. ..I figured the best I could do would be to leave her the ring."

"...I have to admit, that's a very nice thing for you to do for her.", Robert nodded.

"Hoped so.", Doof smiled a bit.

After being hugged and cried on by his family, Phineas looked over and noticed his dad and someone else were standing alone and decided to come over, curious of this stranger.

"Oh good gosh, Heinz, I think your grandfather-in-law is coming back to haunt us.", Robert muttered quietly as he saw Phineas approach them.

Doof whirled around in fear at first but then saw Phineas and scowled at the other.

"Robert you dumkoph! That's Phineas! NOT Ohio.", he hissed.

"Hi Dad.", Phineas greeted as he approached. "Who're you talking to?"

"Phineas, this is your Uncle Robert. Well... not LITERALLY uncle, like he's my brother, his last name is actually Bloodpudding instead of Doofenshmirtz, but he is a good friend of mine, so he's LIKE an uncle."

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you Phineas. I didn't get the chance before.", Robert said politely, shaking hands with him.

"It's nice to meet you too!", Phineas smiled.

Robert chuckled and glanced at Heinz for a moment, "You're certainly your father's son."

"I am?", Phineas asked.

"He is?", Doofenshmirtz asked at the same time.

"Totally. That smile on your face, I can't forget that look, having to see it on your dad's face every day since we shared an apartment when we were teens.", Robert nodded. "Except your dad was dorkier about it and he had braces."

Phineas laughed some and Heinz rolled his eyes.

"Really?", Phineas asked.

"Oh yeah, really big.."

"Robert."

"..chunky..."

"ROBERT."

"..totally dorky looking things that could blind you on a hot Summer day if he smiled widely enough.", Robert finished describing, making Phineas laugh more and more. "In fact, I think he did blind someone one time um.."

"The photographer in my sophomore year of high school on Picture Day.", Heinz sighed.

"That was great.", Bloodpudding snickered.

"Come on, Robert, we're at a funeral. Can we cut the jokes for now?", Doof asked in annoyance.

"Sorry. Sorry. You know I can't help it.", Robert chuckled and offered a shrug.

While Phineas got to know his uncle a bit better and Candace and Ferb were being loved on by family, Perry was sitting on the floor beneath the coffins, still mourning for Linda and Lawrence, when his watch began to beep. He sighed, wiped up his tears, and snuck out of the building. Perry had, admittedly, forgotten all about Owca during the funeral but now, as he was making his way back to the old backyard where he could get into his hide-out, he feared more and more with each moment what Monogram would be calling him for. Would Phineas and Ferb have to lose their pet as well as their parents? What if Perry was taken away from them because he was living with Doofenshmirtz now? What if he was reassigned to another family and they didn't care for him as much as the boys? What if Perry was fired from his job because his owners were living with his nemesis?

Perry's stomach was still churning and his breath was uneasy as he came down into his hideout and sat down in his chair. He held his breath as he turned on the monitor and watched as Monogram's face appeared on the screen.

"Hello Agent P. Sorry we didn't call you sooner about your host-family's death, but Carl and I had a heck of a lot of paper work to go through with it.", Major Monogram said as soon as he came on. "We're all very sorry for the loss. Where are your boys now? In an orphanage, I'm assuming..."

Perry sighed and took off his hat nervously. He wrung it a bit, before putting it back on and punching in a few keys to make a window pop up next to the major's head.

"What the-?! DR. DOOFENSHMIRTZ?!", Major Monogram gasped. "Great googly moogly! Carl! Do you know what this means?!"

"That because Agent P's family is related to Doofenshmirtz...somehow...either Perry has to be taken away or we fire him?", Carl asked off screen, his voice a little fearful.

"No!", Monogram said, surprising the agent. "This means...we can finally cut back on all the money we spend on transportation for Agent P!"

Perry's jaw literally dropped and he was pretty sure Carl was doing the same thing.

"Agent P, while I am very, and genuinely sorry for your loss of family, because at least one of your owners are related to Dr. Doofenshmirtz, we can give you your assignments there without having to bother much with your transportation or time-management to move between your home and his lair!", Francis was smiling now. "It all works out for the best! Granted, you might have a bit more trouble keeping your identity a secret from the boys, heaven forbid if they ever came in while you were fighting Doofenshmirtz, but I'm sure that my best agent will get the job done right."

Perry was devastated. As if it wasn't hard enough as it was to keep his identity a secret ON BOTH SIDES of the equation, now he had to listen to Monogram and stop Doofenshmirtz in the span of practically five seconds before anyone else came in to say, "Oh there you are Perry!"

"So, I want you to head back over there, A.S.A.P. and keep your eyes on Doofenshmirtz!", Monogram ordered before the screen went black.

Perry gave a salute before the major left and then sighed when he was alone. Look after Doofenshmirtz AND Phineas in the same house? He can just see it now.

'_"Perry! What are you-!? Why are you fighting Dad?!"_', Phineas' voice rang in his mind.

Perry sighed again and got off the chair. It was going to be a heck of a week. Maybe he'll be lucky and Phineas and Ferb really will be taken to a nice orphanage and away from Doofenshmirtz.

While Perry was gone, Robert and Phineas seemed to be having a nice conversation.

"So how's your sister?", Bloodpudding asked him.

"Candace? She's okay. I think this funeral's hurting her the most though.", Phineas frowned a bit, looking back at his sister.

"I'm sure it has its toll on a lot of the people here.", Robert agreed. "Well.. Who knows? Maybe a couple of invention-projects for her would help cheer her up."

"Her?", Phineas asked. "Sorry. Lemme see if I heard right. Are you saying that if CANDACE built something, she might feel better?"

"...Wouldn't she?", Robert asked, slightly hesitantly. "Cause...she used to love to build things."

"I don't ever remember seeing her build a single invention.", Phineas shook his head. "...Well... Except for one time when she built a toaster with a mirror in it, but that was with the help of the super computer that Ferb and I built."

"...Really?", Robert asked in confusion.

"Yeah. Did Candace actually used to love to build things?", Phineas asked.

"All the time.", Robert almost scoffed. "I-I'm sorry, this is...beyond confusing. You mean to tell me, that Candace, the very same girl that would beg and beg for more scientific toys to play with instead of an easy-bake oven, doesn't enjoy any form of science anymore?"

"Well, she always seems curious about what Ferb and I are up to, but I don't really recall ever seeing her actually excited to HELP us or do anything inventive or scientific like we do."

Robert and Heinz glanced at each other, slightly worried.

"Maybe that has something to do with why she's so distant from me...", Heinz started to say.

"YOU?", Robert's jaw almost dropped. "You were her most favorite person!"

"Well now it seems like I'm her least favorite.", Heinz sighed. "She's been yelling, and angry, and she always seems so mad at me, no matter what I do."

"Well, she yells a lot at me and Ferb too, but Mom said that was cause she loved us.", Phineas said.

"Phineas, no offense, but you're too innocent about this.", Robert said. "There's a difference between yelling because you're caring, and yelling because you're angry. There's also yelling because you're joking, but I'm not gonna get into the specifics."

"Well...what do you think happened?", Phineas asked. "Between when she used to love Dad and now when she's mad at him all the time?"

"I have no clue.", Robert shook his head. "It doesn't make any sense."

"Wait..where's Ferb?", Heinz asked, looking back around at the crowd.

Ferb was off in a corner by himself. It's not that he didn't want to be with his family, but it was something more than just the British side of his family. Something more than what the Fletchers or the Flynns would understand. It already hurt to see his dead mom and dad, laying there in the coffins, but what hurt more was the memory of his Scottish mother dieing. How sick and pale she looked, laying in the hospital bed. And at the moment, he didn't feel like anyone could understand how much it hurt to see the second time he's lost a mother. Perry wasn't even around to comfort him.

Perry may not have been around, but Vanessa was. And Ferb was surprised some as he felt her sit down beside him and put an arm around his shoulders. He looked up at her and then tried to wipe his eyes but Vanessa put a hand on his to stop him.

"It's okay.", she said. "I'm sorry I don't know what it's like to lose family, but I am sorry that you're this hurt."

Ferb relied on his fallback of not saying anything and simply nodded.

"If there's anything I can do, let me know, okay?", Vanessa offered, earning another nod.

She hugged him tight and kissed him on the head before letting him go and simply sitting nearby, in case if he had something to say. Ferb couldn't help but want to smile. It was the exact role reversal of the way they normally were. Normally he would be waiting nearby and she would be talking. But Ferb was never one to talk a lot, so they both kept quiet while Ferb tried to recover his emotions and not look like a cry-baby in front of the person he has the biggest crush on.

Candace finally managed wander over near enough to be caught up by her dad and Robert.

"Candace, is that you?", Robert called out, causing her to turn around.

"Oh! Um...", she came up, for a moment, not recognizing the man.

"Candace, it's me, Uncle Robert.", the man said again before taking out the pony-tail.

Instantly his hair flew up into its fiery shape and Heinz couldn't help but wanna snicker and Candace was surprised as the memories suddenly came back to smack her in the face.

"Oh! Oh um..", she shook her head, trying to think of something to say. "Uncle Robert. Uh.. What are.. What are you doing here?"

"Well granted I wasn't best friends with your mom, but I was hoping to see my favorite niece.", he said as he pulled his hair back down.

He hugged her and Candace gave small one back in return.

"How've you been, Uncle Robert?", Candace asked, only finding it the polite thing to do.

"Well I've been okay for the most part, but um..are you okay?", he asked before pulling out a handkerchief and wiping up the tears from her eyes.

"I'll be fine. It's just.. I-I mean..", Candace shook her head and tried to stop him from wiping her tears.

"No, no no, I know. Death, it's never pretty.", Robert continued. "I'm very sorry for you."

"...Thanks.", Candace gave a nod and stood there for a moment before burying her face into his shoulder as more tears came out.

Robert took the gesture calmly and hugged her back, allowing the teenager to cry some more. Doof couldn't help but feel upset, if not jealous, that she hasn't hugged him yet. Robert understood, glancing at the look on Heinz's face, and gently pulled Candace back from him.

"Shh.. Shh.. I know, I know...", Robert nodded. "Listen, I have a gift for you in my car and I think I'll need Phineas' help getting it. Why don't you and your dad wait here until I get back? Okay?"

Candace gave a nod and Robert and Phineas left. But even after Bloodpudding was gone, Candace didn't turn to her father. She simply turned on her heels and found a chair to sit down in. Heinz sighed, seeing her head off and decided to at least follow her.

Outside the doorway, Robert headed over to a water fountain instead and got himself a drink. Phineas waited nearby politely.

"So, what's Candace's surprise?", Phineas asked.

"No surprise.", Robert said once he stopped. "I didn't get her anything, I just wanted her to have a chance to get closer to your dad."

"...Oh.", Phineas was slightly surprised by this.

"It worries me, really.", Robert said, glancing around the corner, back at them. "It's like I'm not seeing Candace anymore. It's like she's someone else."

"But she's always been like this.", Phineas shrugged. "How could she have been different?"

Robert sighed as his mind went back through the memories.

_"Uncle Robert!", little Candace's voice squealed when he answered the door._

_He was asked to babysit for Heinz and Linda and of course, was more than happy to as he smiled and bent down to hug her._

_"Hey, kiddo.", he greeted happily._

_"Thanks again, Robert.", Linda nodded._

_"No problem, Linda.", Robert stood up with the small girl in his arms._

_"Mommy, I want to be with Uncle Robert AND Daddy.", Candace pouted._

_"Aw, Daddy too?", Linda asked, earning a nod._

_"Mm-hmm. They're my favorite people ever!", Candace said happily earning a few laughs._

_"Aw... Well Canda-", Heinz began before Robert interrupted._

_"No, you don't wanna spend time with him.", the man said. "He's too SILLY."_

_Candace giggled and Heinz stamped his foot in indignancy._

_"I am NOT too silly for my daughter!"_

_"Heinz, calm down, Robert was just joking.", Linda tried to ease him._

_"Well.. Yeah.. But still, I'm not too silly for you, am I Candace?"_

_Candace laughed a bit and said, "No! I like silly people!"_

_"Oh.", Robert said, as if suddenly being indignant. "I see. So you wanna be with him, more than you wanna be with me, is that it?"_

_Candace turned around with wide and alarmed eyes._

_"What?! NO!"_

_"No no no. I see how it is.", Robert continued, setting her down. "No, you wanna be with HIM. You wanna be with your silly dad more than you wanna be with ME."_

_"NO, that's not true, Uncle Robert! I want-"_

_"And I thought you cared!", Robert continued in a dramatic, teary-eyed sort of way. "I thought you loved me!"_

_"I do Uncle Robert!", Candace said, tears literally swelling up in her eyes. "I wanna be with Daddy AND you!"_

_"So I'm just not good enough that you want to be with just me?", Robert pouted._

_"No!", Candace wailed, burring her face in his legs. "I still love you, Uncle Robert! I do! I wanna be with you! I don't wanna go with Mommy and Daddy!"_

_"Robert.", Linda sighed with a glare at him._

_"What'd I do?", Robert shrugged._

_"You made Candace cry."_

_"Hang on, it's all part of the act, kay?", he said before coming down to Candace's height with a really fake, pathetic, pout on his face. "You still wanna be with me?"_

_"YES!", Candace said, almost desperate._

_"...okay.", Robert nodded._

_They hugged again and Linda and Heinz laughed some at the drama._

_"Alright, well then we'll be going, Candace. You and Uncle Robert have fun.", Linda said._

_"Okay. Bye Mommy!", Candace hugged Linda's legs and then hugged her father's legs. "Bye Daddy!"_

_"Bye Candace.", Heinz came down to give her an actual hug. "You be a good girl, okay?"_

_"Okay!", Candace said happily._

_Heinz and Linda left and Robert and Candace went inside his apartment._

_"Come on, Candace. I've got a new project I want you to see.", Robert was saying as they walked through the apartment._

_"Yay!", Candace cheered. "What is it this time?"_

_"It's a TICKLEINATOR!", he suddenly yelled, pinning her to the couch and tickling her._

_Candace wriggled and giggled and squealed as she was tickled until she was near to tears._

_"Stop! STOP!", she screamed and laughed._

_"Okay, okay okay.", Robert chuckled, sitting her back up. "No, that wasn't the real invention."_

_"Uncle Robert, you tricked me!", Candace said, wanting to be angry but couldn't help but keep smiling._

_Robert sighed as if disappointed in himself before nodding and saying, "...yes. Yes I did"_

_Candace giggled a bit more and they got off and went back to where he normally worked._

_"I'm actually working on a new machine that can make things disappear.", they walked into the room and Candace smiled more and her eyes lit up at the sight of the large machine. "But I'm still having some trouble with it in the smaller parts. Think you can help?"_

_Candace climbed up onto the machine and looked into the components._

_"Hmm... Well first you need to switch the red and yellow wires around like this, so the electrical surshes-"_

_"Surges.", Robert corrected._

_"-surges wouldn't overload the sockets and make it explode. Then I think that if you want to use a heating system to make something disappear, you need to use a bigger exhaust vent than this and possibly one with tighter or thicker stringing so that way it'll bring more air in, but lose less heat."_

_"Really? Is that all?"_

_"No.. You need to take out this self-destruct button.", Candace said, sitting up and pointing at the large red button on the control panel. "Or else you'll turn on the machine and use it only one time before it blows up and hurts you. I see Daddy do that a lot too."_

_Robert chuckled and ruffled her hair a bit._

_"How your dad could be so silly to keep installing a self-destruct button on everything, but still have a smart girl like you, is beyond me."_

_Candace giggled a bit and replied, "Daddy's smart. He's just sometimes silly."_

_"Sometimes.", Robert chuckled._

_"Uncle Robert?"_

_"Yes, Candace?"_

_"How long have you and Daddy been friends?"_

_"A long, long time."_

_"...will you and I be friends for that long?"_

_Robert smiled over at Candace and then came over and hugged her tightly._

_"Yes.", he promised. "We'll always be friends."_

_"I bet I'll be friends with Daddy that long too."_

_"Candace, there is no doubt in my mind, that you and your daddy will definitely be friends, for as long as you live."_

'If only it was true...', Robert thought to himself as he watched 15 year-old Candace avoiding eye contact with her father.

* * *

_Laura: Yay Dr. Bloodpudding! X3 I just love writing with him._

_Amber: Hooray for side characters that we make a bigger-than-necessary hoopla for! XDD_


	7. Chapter 7

_Laura: ...*Sighs and walks on screen.* Ladies an gentlemen. My apolo- *Tomato in face* OW! GEEZ! I'M SORRY! Look, I'm sorry for my lack of activity for...ALL SUMMER LONG. I was really wanting to get a lot done. Honestly, I was. I wanted to already have this story done. But what's been holding me back was more than just chores and school. My family was nominated as Homesteaders of the Year (which is basically, for my fellow PnF fans out there, like being recognized as a talented artist by Dan and Swampy or Brad Bird or something). But this was explained to me and Amber way back in June, as a SECRET. We had to get answers out of our parents for a whole magazine article and keep the whole thing a secret. Aside from that, Amber and I were also given the challenge of compiling sketches and concept pictures into a video for our parents to see and judge whether or not God is actually calling us to be cartoonists. This partially supposed to be a "artistic outlet" but it's been stressful and we're coming close to a dead line now. I HAVE been working on the chapter...slowly. I would've had it up sooner, but suddenly (after Mom and Dad found out the news about the magazine) someone wanted to COME HERE AND INTERVIEW OUR FARM. So guess who had to work really hard, all day long, trying to deep clean and work hard on making the whole farm (2 acres) clean and fit for video IN 48 HOURS. O_o I'll shut up now. Please, enjoy the chapter._

* * *

"Candace, I'll just be blunt, cause I have no other way of getting around to it, why are you avoiding me?", Heinz asked.

"...I'm not.", she lied after glancing at him.

"Yes, yes you are.", Doof nodded. "Or at the very least, you keep being mad with me. And all I'm trying to do is be a good dad."

"Please.", she scoffed under her breath. "If you were trying to be a good dad to me, why-?", she shook her head, but then sighed and stood up. "Forget it."

"No, what?", he asked as she headed for the door.

"I said forget it.", Doof followed after her.

"Candace, please just try to talk to me."

"I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.", Candace said firmly, turning around to face him. "I don't want to talk about it here, I don't want to talk about it with you. I. Don't. Want. To. Talk. About. It."

Doof sighed and Candace sighed louder as she headed for the car, ignoring Robert and Phineas who stood nearby. Robert came around the corner to confront his friend.

"What happened?"

"I have no idea.", Heinz shook his head. "I tried to get her to talk to me, and she started to say something, but she just suddenly said to forget about it and huffed off."

"I'm worried.", Robert sighed.

"You can't be nearly as worried as I am.", Heinz nodded before sighing a bit. "I guess the best we can do right now is find Ferb and Vanessa and head back home."

"Mind if I come too?", Robert asked. "I was meaning to pick up a couple of things at your house anyway and Phineas and Ferb can tag along with me."

"Sure, if it's okay with them.", Heinz smiled a bit at Phineas who beamed back.

"Of course! It'd be a lot of fun!", Phineas said happily, earning a couple of chuckles from the adults.

Phineas came over to Ferb who was sitting by quietly with Vanessa still.

"Hey, Ferb, that man over there, talking to Dad? He's one of Dad's friends and he's offering us a ride home with him so Dad and Candace can get along better. Wanna come?"

"Wait, isn't that Dr. Bloodpudding?", Vanessa asked, looking behind Phineas.

"Um.. Yes. Yes it is.", Phineas said, glancing back before turning back to Ferb.

Vanessa sighed a bit, glaring a bit at her dad. Heinz noticed the look and quickly shook his head. He DID NOT bring "work" with him to a funeral house of ALL places! Vanessa only raised an eyebrow and looked back at Phineas as Ferb agreed.

"I guess I'll come too.", Vanessa said. "I don't really like being crammed up next to Candace, no offense."

"No, it's okay. Candace isn't really a touchy-touchy person either.", Phineas smiled. "Let's go."

They went out into the parking lot and Candace and Heinz went to the truck. Robert lead Phineas, Ferb, and Vanessa over to his car that was parked a bit of a ways off.

"An el camino?", Vanessa questioned, looking at the old, rusty, yellow and orange car.

"Hey, she runs.", Robert shrugged. "And since I'm not your dad and there's only so much room in the front seat, you can ride in the back if you wanna."

"Fine.", Vanessa rolled her eyes.

"I think I'll join her.", Ferb offered. "I..wouldn't want to take up space in the front."

"Alright. I guess you're riding up front with me, Phin.", Robert smiled down at him who beamed back.

Candace and Heinz climbed into the car and the two cars began to drive off. While they drove, Candace texted her friend Stacy who replied back with her condolences. Unfortunately for her, this quiet ride was going to easily end due to both her and Doof being extroverted as they were.

"...You know I... I always did love you, Candace.", Heinz began.

Candace scoffed and put the phone down, "Really?"

"YES.", he replied firmly. "I.. Candace, you should know, everything I did, I did it because I loved you and I did it with all the love in my heart."

"So leaving me and Phineas and never saying a word afterwards, that was for me?", Candace argued.

"YES. Because heaven please forbid that your mother should call the cops because her child's father, who is UNMARRIED to the woman herself, is trying to spend time with his daughter!", Doof groaned in frustration, remembering the old pain. "It hurt me to leave you two, believe me it did, but I left for you. For hoping that one day, SOME DAY, hopefully some day when Hade's freezes over, that I would be able to see you again. To see the beautiful, smart, and amazing young woman you've grown up to be, and get to hold you in my arms again.", he stopped at a red light and looked back at her cold hard glare with sorrow-filled eyes. "Candace, I didn't want to leave you. I left you though, because I didn't want to lose you forever. If I came back, your mom would've put some sort of ban on me and then I'd NEVER be able to be even near you..."

Candace was quiet as she stared back. The only thing she said then was that the light was green and Heinz sighed and drove on.

Meanwhile, in Robert's car, Bloodpudding and Phineas were enthralled with talking to each other about different scientific inquiries and the adventures Phineas had been having all Summer long. Unfortunately for Ferb, there was a window behind Phineas and Robert that was open so everything that anyone said, was easily heard.

"But then the thread somehow caught onto Ferb's clothes and it all started unraveling!", Phineas was saying, talking about their dive into fashion kings, making Robert laugh some.

"And it kept unraveling until Ferb was-"

"PHINEAS.", Ferb interrupted, bright red in the face.

"What?", Phineas looked back.

"..Why not you just go ahead and get to the part where everyone decided to dress up as a pharmacist instead?", Ferb asked, hoping that his brother would go with it. He had to repeat the same thing last night before Phineas said anything of him losing his pants when they crashed on the beach. With any luck, Vanessa would never have to hear of it.

"..Alright then. So after the thread undid all of Ferb's clothes and we got them replaced, we went on to be fashion kings until everyone started dressing up in lab coats and black turtlenecks like pharmacists.", Phineas blathered on anyway.

Robert chuckled and Vanessa couldn't help but laugh at the mention of Ferb losing his clothes. Ferb blushed more, hearing her laugh and Phineas blab out something as embarrassing as that.

"Wait wait, did you say Ferb lost all his clothes?", Vanessa asked.

"Yeah, it was kinda funny! Isabella was lucky that the spool was big enough to cover him up for her.", Phineas chuckled.

"WOW.", Vanessa laughed. "That's so hard to imagine. Suave, cool, Ferbo losing his clothes from a stray thread."

Ferb sighed silently to himself and stared out at the road zipping by underneath him. He half-hoped a stop-sign would knock off his head and put him out of the dying humiliation.

'...and she called me suave!', he groaned in his mind as they continued to laugh.

Robert noticed Ferb's reaction in his mirror and chuckled some.

"You know, it's all well and funny, but I think I have a couple of stories that would top that.", he said.

"Really?", Phineas asked.

"Oh yeah. Have you kids ever seen that viral video running around of a lunatic roller-skating into a toilet?", Robert asked.

"Yeah?", Phineas nodded as Ferb's attention was slightly caught by this.

"Welp, that was your dad.", Robert said, earning a round of laughs.

"How'd he end up doing that?", Vanessa asked. "I'm assuming you know."

"I'm not gonna get into all the details of it, but I will say this. We had a stupid bet back in high-school. Now, the bet was that if he lost, he'd let me video tape him roller-skating into a toilet in nothing but his underwear and a cape while saying 'I'm a Superstar.' so I'd have something to mock him by in our privacy for all eternity. If I lost the bet, I'd have to keep my hair up in this great, big, flaming shape for all of high-school to see and laugh at for the whole day, pretending it really was on fire.", Robert explained.

"And Dad lost?", Phineas asked.

"...Actually..not really.", Robert chuckled a bit as his mind went back to the time.

_"Alright, alright, Rob, I did it like you asked me!", Heinz grumbled as he dried off his hair from the toilet water and Robert stood near by laughing. "Geez! I think I got some up my nose! AUGH! The burning!"_

_"Ha ha ha ha ha! It doesn't matter, you still looked like a dweeb!", Robert laughed. "AH! Ah, man! I'll NEVER let you live this down! Ha ha ha ha ha!"_

_"Yeah, well, you just better make sure the whole high school doesn't see it..", Doofenshmirtz sighed before setting the towel down on the bathroom counter._

_"Dude, no one in the entire Tri-State Area DESERVES to watch this.", Robert snickered. "It's TOO good!"_

_"Whatever.", Heinz groaned._

_They walked out of the bathroom and into the kitchen area of the small apartment. Heinz took a slice of pizza off of the counter top and took a bite, having not eaten earlier on his date._

_"You know what makes this even better?", Bloodpudding asked, earning an eye-roll from his roommate._

_"Do I even really care?", Heinz groaned. "It's not like I already had a bad enough night as it is between Linda's temper, the radio shorting out on me, her grandfather having a deal with me for arriving home with her too soon, and then the toilet? What on earth could possibly make this better for you?"_

_Robert laughed a bit more, just unable to help himself anymore before saying, "That this whole, 'I lost a chance at a relationship with Linda' thing was all a setup and you didn't even notice!"_

_Doof's face had fallen into a stone-cold look of disbelief as Rob continued to laugh. Robert's laugh was high, cold, loud, and constant. When you watch a cartoon and you hear some sort of mad-scientist character laughing over the genius of his plan. It paled in comparison to the real thing. It dug deep into Heinz's heart._

_"What do you mean?", Heinz asked, his voice trembling and quiet._

_"I mean the whole week I was setting you up to look like a complete loser so you would ABSOLUTELY lose!", Robert laughed. "I told you to wear those stupid clothes, to do your hair like a wet Elvis Presley. I rigged your radio to explode and Heinz, really! what on EARTH could've possibly made you think that robot-happy thing was EVER gonna win her over?! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! I can't believe you were really wso stupid to actually fall for it! You really ARE a dumkoph! And to top it all off, I have perfect footage of your most embarrassing stunt yet! This has most DEFINITELY been the happiest day in my life!"_

_As Robert was on his knees in laughter, Heinz continued to stare at him. At first in disbelief, then in anger. Then rage as it continued to quickly swell up into him like a volcano. He could feel his heart racing with anger and spite at the other. He could almost hear his blood boiling and his face flushing hot red, his arms and legs were literally trembling as his temper grew hotter and hotter._

_Heinz spun on his heels and stormed to his bedroom, slamming the door hard behind him. The sudden noise surprised Robert and he sat up from the floor and saw that Heinz was no longer there. He figured that his room mate was having a fit for being tricked and shrugged it off._

_'He'll get over it', Robert thought._

_But Heinz didn't. All the rest of Saturday, Heinz didn't come out of his room. And when he did, it was for a very short period of time, he didn't make a face or say a word. It was very stone-cold and he simply got very small food and water supplies and headed back into his room without a single word to Robert. And when Rob tried to get in his way fromo entering his bedroom, Heinz simply stomped on Rob's toe and passed by as the other held his foot in pain only to then slam the door and prevent Robert from entering._

_Sunday night, Robert finally dared himself to go in in as Heinz sat on the couch he slept on in the corner of the room reading a book. Ordinarily, Bloodpudding wouldn't even be so worried about Heinz having a tantrum. Heinz normally threw a hissy fit whenever he was embarrassed or upset, but he knew this was different. He REALLY struck a nerve on this point and the guilt ate away at him all through the cold-shouldered and lonely weekend. He just HAD to get Heinz to talk to him again._

_"..Heinz?", Rob began as he entered the room._

_Doofenshmirtz said nothing in return._

_"...brought you some pizza.", Robert offered, holding out a paper plate. "The plate's paper there wouldn't be a worry about the dishes."_

_Heinz continued to look at his book, turning a page, and not even bothering to turn away from his corner to face his friend._

_"...I guess I'll just leave it here.", he sighed, setting it on the arm of the couch._

_He turned and headed to the doorway. There, he stopped to look back and sighed again._

_"...That's really it? You're not gonna say anything?", Robert asked, turning back to face his friend. "...I guess not. Look, I'm sorry, alright? I'm sorry for what I did. It was stupid, hypocritical, and out of line for me. I.. I'm sorry."_

_Doof still said nothing and Rob sighed one more time._

_"...I'm sorry.", he said more to himself than anything._

_He closed the door behind him and headed back out._

_The next day at school, Heinz sat by himself at the lunch table. Robert said he had to go use the bathroom before heading into the cafeteria with him, though Heinz had made no comment. As Doof poked away at his lunch, questionable quail, all of a sudden the lunch doors burst open and Robert came running in and screaming at the top of his lungs._

_"SOMEONE HELP ME! MY HAIR IS ON FIRE!", he cried out in a girly voice._

_At first others were concerned until they saw the teenager run around and acting like an idiot while his hair was gelled to stay up like a large roaring fire on top of his head._

_"HELP! OH! SOMEONE SAVE ME!", Rob continued as the other teenagers laughed and jeered at him for looking like an idiot._

_He finally ran to Heinz's table and slammed his hands down._

_"HEINZ YOU HAVE TO HELP ME! MY HAIR IS ON FIRE!", Robert asked in fake desperation._

_Heinz simply looked up at him skeptically and then nodded behind him before looking around the cafeteria._

_"The bathrooms are down the hallway, first turn on the right. I'm sure there's a jock nearby that will gladly assist you.", he said calmly and unemotionally._

_Robert stared at him for a moment before sighing and sitting down._

_"Alright, what on EARTH will it take to get you back to yourself? I held up my end of the bet for you! And I promise to forever and always keep my hair like this for as long as we live too.", Robert sighed, hoping that his words would make some sort of an impact._

_"Robert, you're not really getting it are you?", Heinz said, looking up from his food finally and staring at the teenager square in the eye. "I love Linda. I love her more than I've ever loved another girl! It's pretty passionate for a losering teenage boy like me! She's beautiful, smart, and funny, and even if her grandpa Ohio DOES scare me because of some weird grudge he has against my own ancestor, I still wanted to be with her, MORE than just the typical teenage 'couple weeks of dating before seeing other people'! I. LOVE. HER. And you not only sat me up to LOOK like a complete IDIOT and failure, you also probably emotionally scarred her for life, scarred ME, took advantage of my naivety and nervousness, your destroyed my chances of finding any sort of happiness, you have joined my father in making me feel like the worst person in all of existence, and all for what?! A stupid joke that I wasn't even going to hold you to seriously?! You DESERVE not to have any friends! I can see why everyone avoids you now!"_

_Heinz sighed and shook his head before scowling in another direction. Robert felt the guilt utterly destroy him and for once, he was pretty crushed. It seemed like Heinz would never be able to make Robert feel this bad, but he succeeded better than ever imagined. He didn't deserve friends. It WAS hypocritical for the person who was always bullied, to turn around and bully someone else and so deviously at that. Robert hung his head sadly at Heinz's harsh words._

_"...you're right.", Robert sighed. "...and no amount of apologies will change that. I'm still sorry though."_

_With that, Robert left Heinz be and went to get his own lunch. Later that day, at home, Robert looked at himself in the bathroom mirror, sighing a bit at how utterly ridiculous the hair-style looked in comparison to the brown jacket, yellow shirt, and dark blue jeans he normally wore._

_'...and just when I thought I might actually look cool for being the first guy in my class to start growing a mustache...', Robert thought to himself, more sarcastically than in any other emotion._

_Suddenly a sound from the living room completely threw off his attention and for a second, Robert could barely believe what he was hearing._

_"I AM A SUPER STAR!", came the TV from the living room._

_Robert came into the room to find Heinz sitting on the couch, looking at the video, somewhat skeptically though there was a small smile in the corner of his mouth._

_"...You know, this is pretty funny.", Heinz said, almost casually. "I can see why you wanted to record it."_

_"...Heinz?"_

_Doof turned to smile at his friend some and stopped the tape._

_"Apology accepted.", he simply said, standing back up. "Though you DO you realize that it was still TOTALLY wrong of you to ruin my date."_

_Robert laughed a bit and gave a nod._

_"Yeah. Sorry."_

_"Hey, I got my even score.", Heinz shrugged. "By being quiet and ignoring you for the weekend, I was finally able to finish my book and I got to get under YOUR skin at the same time AND made you promise to keep your hair up looking THAT STUPID for all of our lives!"_

_Easy to say of Robert's dumbfoundedness by Heinz's plot being revealed to him but the two laughed it off easily._

The rest of the car laughed as well and Ferb was thankful for Robert's good intention.

"So THAT'S where the viral video came from!", Phineas laughed.

"YEAH. You can imagine how surprised I was to see THAT old thing again.", Robert laughed.

"Oh hey, we're finally here.", Vanessa noted as they turned down the street.

_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorperateeed!_

The two cars parked in the garage and came back into the apartment where a waiting family of ocelots greeted them happily.

"Rrr!", Candace growled as ocelots tried to jump up on her. "DAD! Get them off!"

"Come on! Mom, guys! Go on!", Heinz tried to shoo them off.

The ocelots finally got off and instead, a few of them proceeded to circle around Robert instead as the humans entered the apartment.

"Um.. Heinz?", Robert asked, feeling a bit nervous of Doof's feline family.

Doofenshmirtz looks back and made a deep, throaty growl, causing the other animals to leave and put blank-eyed Perry in a bit of surprise that he knew how to speak ocelot.

All except Vanessa and Bloodpudding agreed to change leaving them, Perry, and the ocelots, alone. The humans sat on the couch, the platypus sat by Vanessa's feet, and the cats lounged on the floor except for the mother who kept herself nestled between Vanessa and Robert.

"...So are you really like, a friend of Dad's that I never got to know or..what?", Vanessa asked finally.

"Um... Pretty much.", Robert shrugged. "We were friends ever since highschool. I was just..never really a part of your dad's life when he married your mom."

"I thought Dad was too much of a loser to have any friends in high school.", Vanessa replied, making Robert chuckle.

"If that was the case, he probably would've committed suicide.", he said before leaning back into the couch. "I'm the only person who could've kept him out of trouble."

"Yet, you encouraged him being evil."

"Yeah. Is that a problem?", Robert asked.

"Well it's cause he's evil that I never ACTUALLY spend time with him, when I ever do, cause he's always wrapped up in his work.", Vanesa accused. "And NOW I know where it came from!"

"Well, I'm sorry to burst your bubble Vanessa, but that's not accurate.", Robert began before turning to face her. "I encouraged him, but Linda was the one who pushed him into really taking a part of it. When he was kicked out of the house, he was hoping that he would be able to prove himself successful by taking over the Tri-State Area like Linda had suggested for him to do if she ever became a pop star, which she did. Linda meant the world to Heinz at the time and you and Candace even more so. I came over to the funeral because I was worried about how Heinz and the kids were taking it. Not because I was wanting to press him on in his evil."

There was almost something of a hurt in his voice as he talked about Linda. But Vanessa didn't venture to ask. She kind of got the idea that even if Robert encouraged Heinz to be evil, he wasn't entirely heartless himself.

Vanessa left the conversation at that and walked off to the bathroom. Robert sighed and laid back into the couch, putting his head in his hand. He wasn't friends with Linda, that was true, but he had confided in her at times, behind Heinz's back. So it did hurt, almost as much as the others, to see that she had finally died. After he finally prevented himself from shedding more than a few tears, he had gotten very good at it over the years, he finally sighed again and looked up at the ceiling a bit before a smile curled under his bushy mustache.

"...so what's it like living in your enemy's house, Agent P?", he asked, finally turning to Perry who's glazed eyes slightly widened, though still tried to look blank. "Oh come on. Perry Flynn, Perry the Platypus? There aren't THAT many platypuses in Danville named Perry. Not to mention that would just be Life's irony, now wouldn't it?"

It took Perry a moment, but he finally allowed his eyes to focus and stare back at the man in fear.

"Hey, I'm making conversation here. I'm not gonna tell anyone.", Robert reassured.

Perry gave a skeptical look and Robert chuckled.

"Course you don't trust me. I'm from Lovemuffin.", he said, getting up and walking out of the room. "Act however you want Agent P. But your secret will be in jeopardy if you stay here and I'm not talking about me."

Perry couldn't help but wanna shiver. He knew it already, but being told how fragile everything is for him by a member of Lovemuffin, it was creepy. But upon the thought of the League Of Villainous Evildoers Maniacally United For Frightening Investments-in Naughtyness, Perry's thoughts turned to Doof. What was the man up to? Perry hadn't heard from him yet.

Scratch that, Doofenshmirtz finally came out of his room, dressed in his usual outfit, when he called out to Robert who was busy getting himself something to drink in the kitchen.

"Rob, I'm in the lab if you need me.", he called out.

Robert laughed a bit.

"Another day, another explosion, eh Heinz?", he asked.

"Shut it.", Heinz growled before going out the door.


	8. Chapter 8

_Laura: When did writing ever become so hard to do? -3- Well, either way, here's the next chapter! I really hope you all enjoy it! ^_^_

* * *

It wasn't too long into the day when Phineas was walking down the halls of the DEI, on his way back to his brother after using the bathroom, when he heard a loud thud coming from one of the rooms.

"OW! Watch it!", Phineas heard his dad's voice growl. "Oh you're SO gonna get it now!"

Phineas followed the voice until he came to a door that had the sign "Lab" on it. He brought an ear closer to the door to make sure he was hearing right. Surely enough, another loud thud, and several crashing noises, including some glass-like sounds, came from the other side. Phineas' panic gripped him tightly and he threw the door open, hoping to not see his dad bleeding from broken glass.

What he found was something else entirely.

Heinz was pulled closer by his shirt's collar to his beaver-tailed nemesis. Agent P scowled angrily into his eyes, his fist raised for the next blow when a single voice stopped his blood cold.

"PERRY!"

Perry couldn't hear his heart anymore, but he felt it pound hard and slow against his rib cage as slowly his face turned to his owner.

Phineas stood in dumbfound shock by the door. Heinz was on his knees, Perry on his chest, getting ready to sucker punch each other in the face at once, but now staring in surprise and, for Perry, horror.

"...P-Perry! What on earth are you doing?!", Phineas exclaimed, almost as if in denial. "Get off of Dad!"

Perry was stunned at first and found himself in a conflict of instructions. His own boss, Major Monogram, had always instructed the platypus to fight Doofenshmirtz when he was inventing something evil. Well the man HAD an evil invention which Perry had already destroyed, so Perry was doing his job. Yet at the same time, Perry had been taught as a young pet, to obey Phineas' command. For a moment, the platypus looked confused, as if not understanding what Phineas was saying. He then raised his fist and scowled back at Doofenshmirtz, ready for the punch when Phineas interrupted again.

"Perry!", he said harshly, making the animal flinch and surprising Heinz. "Perry, DOWN. _NOW._"

Perry looked back, almost whimpering. It didn't feel right to go against Phineas, but there was still the issue of Doofenshmirtz.

"Bartholomew Perry Flynn-Fletcher the Platypus, you come off of Dad this _second_!", Phineas ordered, snapping his fingers and pointing at the floor in front of him to emphasize.

Perry cringed again and knew that was that. He came down from Doof and stood at the floor with his head hung like a child.

Doofenshmirtz slowly allowed himself to stand back up, keeping his eyes every so cautiously on the platypus, half waiting for Perry to jump back on him again. After he stood up and let his fists drop, he looked back at Phineas wondering partially how on earth a young boy of 10 not only knew Perry's full name but also managed to command his nemesis!

For the moment, Phineas just glared down at his pet, making Perry all the more uncomfortable and unwanting to meet Phineas' gaze. The boy opened and closed his mouth several times, then he paced back and forth a bit in front of Perry before stopping and looking at the platypus again.

"Eeeuuauugh!", was all Phineas could groan in mixed confusion, delight, worry, and anger towards the beaver-tailed agent.

Perry only sighed and dropped his arms more, knowing Phineas' disappointment.

'_"You're a secret agent?! And you've been living with us this whole time?!"_', Perry remembered.

"Perry, what are you-!? Why are you fighting Dad?!", Phineas asked, almost making the agent face-palm himself as he remembered his thoughts only earlier that day.

"Phineas, calm down. It's okay.", Heinz said, a little worried at how upset his son was. "I don't know if you two met or anything, but this is my nemesis, Perry the Platypus!"

"You guys are enemies?! Why would you even do that?!", Phineas asked the platypus more.

"Well, cause he's a secret agent.", Heinz shrugged, answering for Perry. "Phineas, what's wrong?"

"What's WRONG!?", Phineas asked, almost in disbelief of his dad asking such a question. "Mom and Dad DIED, I'm in mourning, my biological father is fighting my pet platypus, my pet platypus is fighting my biological father and is apparently anthropomorphic! What else could we throw in here?! What? _DOES FERB LOVE VANESSA?!_"

"Pet platy-? Phineas, calm down! Your pet's just a platypus! He can't do much. Perry the Platypus is completely different! He's a secret agent! He's not like your pet platypus Pe-", Heinz stopped as he finally added two and two together. His eyes widen and he slowly manage to point a finger at Perry before the alarm got to him. "Yo-! _PERRY THE PLATYPUS?!_"

This time Perry really did face-palm himself and oh how the questions began to fly.

"You can even face-palm yourself?!", Phineas asked.

"You've been living with Phineas and Candace this WHOLE time?!"

"How is it that you can stand on two legs?!"

"Why didn't you ever tell me?! Wait.."

"Why have you been fighting Dad?!"

"Wait, I think I know why you would wanna keep this a secret..."

"Are you genetically engineered?!"

"Coming to think about it, how many secrets DO you keep from me?"

"Why haven't you been cleaning your own litter box?!"

"Wait a minute, you DON'T clean after yourself? What's up with that?"

"What, can you TALK now or something?"

"Your full name is Secret Agent Bartholomew Perry Flynn-Fletcher-Doofenshmirtz the Platypus?!", Heinz asked.

Perry growled at the long name as if to mean that he didn't like the "Doofenshmirtz" part added in.

"Well Candace and Phineas are MY kids too, you know.", Heinz said in defense.

Perry rolled his eyes and shook his head a bit.

"Wait, do you understand what he's saying?", Phineas asked. "Have you always understood each other?"

"Pfft. NO. I just guess.", Heinz shrugged. "Or pretend. Anything to keep a conversation going."

"Can someone PLEASE explain to me what's going on here?", Phineas asked, bringing a hand to his head.

Perry didn't often see Phineas being anything less than healthy, but he did know when someone looked dizzy or tired. So he quickly got a chair in time for Phineas to collapse into and Heinz pulled up another two for him and Perry.

"Phineas, calm down.", Heinz said gently. "I'm...suddenly a little confused myself.."

Perry sighed and pulled out a pamphlet for Phineas. Phineas looked at the pamphlet but then handed it back, a bit unsure of it.

"Sorry, Perry, but I'd rather just hear what's going on instead of-"

Perry interrupted by pushing the pamphlet back to him instead. Phineas looked at him curiously, but something in the platypus' large brown eyes said he wanted Phineas to read this badly. So Phineas sighed a bit and took a look.

"So you've discovered your pet's a secret agent..", he began before reading to himself.

"...Hey how come HE get's a pamphlet?", Heinz asked.

Perry rolled his eyes and handed him one too. Doof's eyebrows riased a bit in surprise and he took it.

"Ooh! So you've discovered your nemesis' host family..", he began.

It didn't take long for Phineas to read through his and soon he looked back at Perry in fear.

"Wait! What do you mean I have to lose either you or my memory?", he asked.

"Hang on, hang on, I haven't gotten that far!", Heinz said impatiently. "Wait, you- WHAT?!"

Perry avoided eye contact, upset by this decision himself.

"Perry, I don't wanna forget!", Phineas pleaded. "I JUST found out what you've always been doing, day in and out. Don't I have a right, as your owner, to know what you're doing? To know what dangers you might face?"

"Wait wait.. Phineas, I think I see why Perry the Platypus' organization makes him do this.", Heinz suddenly said, surprising them both.

"WHAT?!", Phineas asked in horror, he and Perry both equally in shock.

"NO, Phineas think about it. Really, it's just for your own safety. You found out your pet's a secret agent, well not only is the government all about keeping secrets for themselves (even though they spy on just about everyone in the country) but also if you know Perry the Platypus' going to be gone on secret missions, not only could that put YOU in danger if another villain found out you knew, but also you would be constantly worrying about Perry the Platypus. About what danger he may or may not be in and even if you say you can adjust to that, I can guarantee you, cause I can see how much you really care for family, the day that Perry the Platypus comes back home with a broken bone, or blood, or some sort of injury, you're more than willing to sue ALL of Owca for putting your pet in danger. ...Am I right?", Heinz asked, seeing Phineas' eyes become wide during his speech and then turn to the floor by the end of it.

"...yes..."

"I wish it wouldn't have to be like this either...", Heinz sighed looking back at Perry's solemn expression. "And I think Perry the Platypus will agree with me for once."

"...W.. Well, Perry.. Please, there's gotta be some way around it. I can keep calm about you fighting, I could.", Phineas begged. "It's not like a LOT of people know about this, can't we just keep this a secret between each other? And then I can help cover for you when you're gone on longer missions."

"Perry the Platypus, you know I hate goodbyes and you know what it's like when I'm fighting someone besides you.", Heinz started to say. "Come on. I don't want to lose my best nemesis. We can keep this just a secret..right?"

Perry thought for a long hard time about it. But after a while, he gave a nod. He didn't want to lose his family or his nemesis. And they certainly didn't want to forget today or about him.

Phineas smiled and was more relieved.

"Thanks, Perry.", he said gently, giving his platypus a pet on the head. "I promise not to say another word about any of this to anyone."

Perry smiled some more, knowing Phineas would hold true.

"...Now, that we have all that figured out...", Phineas sighed some, relaxing before having a confused look and turning to his dad. "WHY are you two fighting again?"

Heinz's gentle smile to his son instantly became stale and fearful as he avoided eye contact all at once. Perry smirked and folded his arms across his chest. He was gonna _LOOOVE_ hearing Doof talk his way out of this.

"Wh-wh-why? Um..", Heinz began, clearly nervous until he saw the platypus' face. "Don't gimme that look!"

Perry only smirked more and Phineas looked over.

"What look? Perry can you tell me?", Phineas asked.

Perry gave a nod and pointed to something behind both of the humans. Phineas and Heinz looked over to find Doof's inator and Phineas looked back, somewhat more confused than before.

"...What? You..destroy Dad's inventions?", he asked.

Perry wavered his hand in the air as if to say "yes and no". Phineas cocked his head a bit, trying to understand what Perry was getting at. The platypus pointed at Doof and Phineas gave a nod of understanding. Then Perry held up a hand, making his fingers crooked and rigid like he was forming a claw. The look on his face turned into a deep scowl. Phineas stared a moment longer, trying to grasp what the agent was saying. Perry sighed, knowing that Phineas wasn't getting and wrung his hands together, trying to look as evil as he could.

"...Perry, I'm not..", Phineas shook his head a bit.

Perry rolled his eyes and jumped from his chair. He flipped in the air, snatched Doof's lab coat...

"Hey!", Heinz gasped as the lab coat was taken away.

Perry landed on the floor and slipped on the large white coat. He walked over to the chemistry set Doof sat up for decoration in his lab, and gave a silent evil laugh.

"...mad..scientist?", Phineas asked slowly.

Perry gave another iffy sign with a small nod. Phineas was on the right track.

"So.. Wait, are you trying to tell me that my dad is an evil scientist?", Phineas asked.

Perry's face lit up a bit more as he nodded more enthusiastically.

"Wait, he's EVIL? You're EVIL?", Phineas asked, turning to his dad with wide, "say it isn't so!"-looking blue eyes.

Heinz was on the spot, but his silence told Phineas more than enough.

"You're evil?!", he said again, more panicked than before.

"Now, Phineas calm down, I'm not ENTIRELY evil, r-right Perry the Platypus?", Doof asked.

Perry gave a slight nod. He had to give Heinz that much, he wasn't PURE evil. He's seen that before.

"Right! I-I'm not entirely evil or anything. I-It's not like I wanna rule the Tri-State Area to HURT anyone.", Heinz was rambling, worried about what Phineas is thinking of him now.

Phineas only stared at his dad for a long time. His expression...angry? curious? Like he was looking at a hard puzzle. It was already hard enough for the young boy to wrap his mind around the concept of "evil", a family member being evil? It was almost impossible to grasp. Almost..

After a while Phineas started to give a slow nod of understanding, his expression not changing.

"So.. You wanna take over the Tri-State Area?", Phineas asked.

"...yes.", Heinz said in a small, worried voice.

"...Why?", he asked innocently.

Doof almost cringed at the question. The day of Linda's funeral, and he has to talk about their first date in high school and more so.

"Umm... Well.. It was really cause of.. cause of your mom."

"My MOM?", Phineas asked, now entirely confused.

"Yeah..", he scratched the back of his head a bit. "See... Well, back when we were in high school, your mother and I were dating..."

"You mean that date where you came back home and Uncle Robert video taped you roller-skating into a toilet and then had to put his hair up into that weird firey-shape of his?", Phineas asked.

His dad instantly face-palmed himself and Perry was laughing hysterically at this discovery.

"...yeah.", Heinz sighed. "That date. We went out, and it was okay for a while...sorta. Anyway, your mom said she wanted to be a pop-star and I joked saying that I'd rule the world. She thought I was being serious and said I should start with something small like the Tri-State Area."

"Wow. That's ironic considering she DID become a pop-star."

"Well, exactly my point!", Doof nodded. "She became a pop-star and afterwards we got back together and had you and Candace. But before you were born, she said she didn't love me anymore and I had to go. Sometime after that, I made it up in my mind that I should go ahead and try to take over the Tri-State Area so I could prove that I was capable of being accomplished like how she became a pop-star."

"...So... You're not REALLY evil?", Phineas asked.

"No. I.. I guess I'm not, really.", Heinz shrugged. "I like to say I am, but really, Robert's more evil than I am."

Phineas gave a nod of understanding.

"So.. Should I be concerned with any of this? Anything at all? If you're gonna be ruler of the Tri-State Area or if I'll walk into the room and find Perry...hurt?", he asked, trying hard not to think let alone say, "blood".

"No, I don't um.. I don't think so.", Doof thought over his schedule with Perry. "No, it's all pretty safe and as along as Perry the Platypus is as good as he is at defeating me, I'm pretty confident that I'll never become ruler of the Tri-State Area. Besides, I have to start looking for a job whether I wanna or not."

Perry gave Heinz a curious look and chatter.

"Yesterday, before I came to pick up the kids, a social security worker came in and told me I had to get a job by the end of the week."

"Why?", Phineas asked. "Aren't you living okay on your own?"

"Well, yes, Phineas. But keep something in mind, I'm living off of my exwife's alimony. I married Vanessa's mom, Charlene, and we divorced before I met your mom. I get an alimony check every month then. I'm not gonna bother going into all the details, but basically if I'm supporting a whole family, I gotta actually get a job or...", he trailed off suddenly and quickly became somewhat worried.

"...Or what?", Phineas asked for both he and Perry.

"...or otherwise the security worker would take you, Candace, Perry, and Ferb, all away from me.", he said sadly making Phineas give a worried look. "But it's alright cause last night I already looked around and later this week I should be getting a job interview. It's alright."

Phineas gave a nod.

"Okay."

Heinz sighed, calming down a bit and they all sat back for a moment.

"...So!", Doof began. "Secret's out Perry the Platypus."

Perry gave a nod. It was odd picking up things after that. Firstly because he and Doof were right in the middle of a fight. Secondly, Phineas is still in the room. Thirdly, there were still probably so many questions hovering over them. And fourthly, for Perry's sake, he had deliberately disobeyed Major Monogram and allowed his nemesis and host family member to acknowledge each other and retain their memories as well as Perry himself. It was weird and somewhat foreboding to be keeping this secret. There was little Perry ever did that was actually wrong, let alone something as huge and grave of matters as this. The more he thought about it, the more he felt his heart pound faster and faster in fear.

The platypus shook his head a bit. It was time to get back to reality. Doof looked over at Phineas who only looked about the lab in some curiosity.

"So um.. Perry the Platypus and I were in the middle of a fight.", he started to say. "You still wanna hang out or...?"

Phineas looked over while his dad was talking to him, but then looked at the floor when the choice was laid out. Half of him wasn't sure if he could sit still through seeing his pet fighting and being harmed. Phineas finally shook his head. But still.. The idea of Perry being a secret agent and doing what Phineas saw in spy movies... It was intriguing to think about.

"..Would it be alright if I just sat here?", he asked. "I-I mean, I wouldn't be intruding, would I?"

Heinz shrugged and shook his head a bit.

"Mm.. No. I don't think so. Do you Perry the Platypus?", he asked.

Perry shook his head. As long as Phineas didn't become worried, things should be alright.

"Alright then. Now let's see.. Where were we?", Doof began to ponder.

Suddenly Perry catapulted from his seat and tackled into Doofenshmirtz sending them both tumbling over backwards onto the floor.

"Ahh! Geddoff Perry the Platypus!", he growled as he wrestled with the monotreme.

Perry managed to pin Doof until the man punched the agent and Perry was sent into the air. Doof stood back up and Perry caught himself in the air and landed safely. The moment his feet touched the ground did he jump again and kicked Heinz square in the jaw before landing on the ground behind him.

"Go Perry!", Phineas cheered from the side.

"Oww! Hey!", Heinz pouted.

Phineas shrugged with a sheepish grin.

"Perry's on the good side.", he said.

Perry gave a smirk and a tip of his fedora. At least Phineas cheered for him.


	9. Chapter 9

When Phineas decided to leave the lab, he came back into the living room and suddenly noticed something odd. He saw Ferb and Vanessa quietly sitting on opposite ends of the couch and as Phineas saw Ferb he realized, he couldn't tell his brother about Perry. He made a promise to tell NO ONE but.. it would be a first to keep a secret from his brother. Something he knew that Ferb didn't.

Ferb looked over and gave a puzzled look to Phineas' stare at him. Phineas finally blinked and shook his head a bit and smiled.

"Hey, Ferb. Hey Vanessa.", he said.

Ferb gave a nod, Vanessa was wearing her ear buds so she didn't hear Phineas. Her nod to the beat though, seemed to be a nod to him so Phineas accepted it. Heinz and a blank-faced Perry soon came in as well.

Heinz looked about the room. He walked over and tapped Vanessa on the shoulder. Vanessa looked up at her dad and took out her ear buds.

"Yeah, Dad?", she asked in half annoyance.

"Vanessa, you didn't see where Robert is, did you?"

"Um.. Yeah. I think he's hanging out on the balcony."

"Right here.", Bloodpudding said, coming in.

"Oh. So, are you staying for dinner?", Heinz asked.

As the two talked, Phineas sat down next to Ferb, though still feeling rather odd for not telling his brother about their pet.

"Oh, there you are, Perry.", Ferb said, noticing the platypus walking by before Ferb picked him up and sat him on the couch.

Phineas watched, but then was worried. Ferb's eyes were hollow-like and red from crying. Even now, a tear slipped by.

"Ferb, you alright?", Phineas asked, earning a nod as Ferb quickly wiped his eyes. "...okay."

"Yeah, I guess I see your point.", Heinz shrugged as they wrapped up the conversation. "Real busy and whatnot."

"Ah with an enemy.. You know how they are.", Robert shrugged with a smile.

Heinz chuckled a bit and gave a nod.

"Yeah, I know, right? Always have to have everything going JUST RIGHT."

"Exactly. Guess I'll see you guys later on this week. Later Phineas.", Robert gave Phineas a hug from behind and ruffled Ferb's hair. "See ya, Ferb. Say, where's Candace?"

"In her room.", Ferb answered.

Robert glanced over at the door, but wasn't sure if he should intrude. He and Heinz exchanged glances and Doof only shrugged.

"Mm. I'll just pop in for a quick goodbye.", Robert shrugged before walking over.

He knocked on the door and after a moment, Candace's muffled reply allowed him in.

Candace looked up from her bed as her uncle walked in the room.

"I'm on my way out.", Bloodpudding began. "I thought I should come in and say goodbye.

"...Bye.", Candace said softly, turning her head away.

"You've been saying good-bye a lot lately, haven't you?", Robert observed.

Candace didn't reply, but she tucked her legs in tighter, not wanting to show the tears in her eyes. Robert came over to the bed and sat down, understanding that Candace was still being upset.

"Candace..?", he began softly. "I hate saying good-bye. But you know I'll be coming back soon."

"...If you hate it so much, then how do you stand for it?", she sniffled.

Robert sighed and looked down at the floor.

"...many years of practice, I learned how to just...never say anything at all.", he simply said.

Candace finally looked back at him and Robert looked up. He gave a small smile and opened his arms. Candace crawled into them, suddenly remembering how she did so when she was so young. He hugged her close and gently stroked her hair.

"I still love you.", he said. "We all do."

"...I just.."

"Hate good-byes?"

"...mm-hmm.", she gave a small nod, a tear slipping onto his labcoat.

"It'll be okay.", he said gently. "I know, it hurts. And you don't believe me. But I've lost a loved one too. The pain will soon be gone. I promise."

"...okay."

After a moment, they finally let go and Robert left the apartment building. He looked back one more time, thinking about Candace, and what a sister she was like to him. He remembered his own little sister, he lost so many years ago. How he had told Linda of such a tragedy, and how Candace seemed to replace the hole. He remembered being told he couldn't see Candace again, and then getting to see her again at the funeral. He probably knew better than anyone there, what it must've felt like for Candace to lose Linda. But what he said was true. Good-byes can be a horrible thing, but the pain will subside. And in a sense, a good-bye is only temporary. He hoped the kids would feel better soon, and looked forward to when he could visit again.

After Robert had left, Candace had finally come out of her room, and everyone started to try and pick up the pieces again. Heinz started working on lunch, Vanessa filled Phineas and Ferb in on who all was going to be at the family reunion tomorrow, and Candace sat quietly in chair in the corner of the room, thinking over what her uncle had said. She really didn't want to believe that this pain, this hurt in her chest, this cold loneliness, would ever just..go away. But he said he lost someone too. So with Mother Ocelot on her lap, warm and furry, and listening in on the plans of tomorrow, she eased back in the chair, and tried to deter her mind of sadder memories. Maybe she really should give everyone a chance. Maybe she can become accustomed to this new life-style. Maybe..

***CRASH!***

***CLANG!***

***THUD!***

"DAD?!", Vanessa, Phineas, and Candace exclaimed at once as Heinz tumbled backwards out of the kitchen with an ocelot on his chest.

"Rrrr! Come on! Ha ha! Very funny! You can stop with the pranks now!", he growled at the cat and shooed him off.

The ocelot brother walked off, tail high in the air and a pleasant smile on his face. The ocelot on Candace's lap gave a loud hiss and the brother flinched in fear and then hung his head in shame.

"...WHY are they here, again?", Candace asked, trying to keep a growl out of her own throat.

"The family reunion.", Vanessa said, equally skeptical of the idea of keeping an entire family of wild cats in the house. "They ARE Dad's temporarily adopted family."

"...Whatever.", Candace sighed, rolling her eyes and effectively shoving off the ocelot from her lap.

She stood up and walked off to another room, declaring she was going to make a phone call.

Later that night, after dinner and almost everyone's gone to bed, Heinz was just finishing up putting Norm into sleep-mode when he saw the balcony door was open. He walked out into the cool Summer night and saw Ferb leaning over the side, staring out into the bright lights of the city.

"Whatcha doin up so late?", Heinz began, suddenly startling the boy.

Ferb whipped around and for a moment looked scared until he relaxed some at the sight of Phineas' dad. The boy gave a shrug and Heinz seemed unconvinced.

"Look, Ferb was it? I'm just wanting to help.", he said, walking over and leaning against the railing. "I know, I'm not your dad, and I'm not even trying to be. But I don't want things to be so formal or awkward between us, just because of that. I'd like to at least HOPE I'd be lucky enough that you'd want to be my friend. So, help me out here. What's on your mind?"

Ferb was quiet for a moment. He didn't really know if he should really blather his problems to a stranger. He knew it was alright to trust the man, that wasn't the issue. He just didn't really know Doofenshmirtz well enough to tell him his troubles. The mourning over yesterday. The tragic death of his mother so many years ago. But maybe his guard was down just enough that he was making a face, because Doof spoke up again.

"Or is it because of YOUR father?", he asked.

Ferb looked over and gave a small nod.

"Hurts, huh?"

Ferb took a moment, tried to swallow the lump in his throat, and then began softly, "It's not so much as the pain of a lost one, as it is the continued pain of past loss."

Heinz felt a prick in his heart and gave the expression that showed such. Ferb sighed and looked back out at the sky.

"My mother died of cancer when I was very little. ...I was asleep in her arms when she passed. So now I've lost three parents, all whom I've loved very much."

Heinz's heart plummeted into his stomach, listening to Ferb's story. He didn't know a lot about how to make someone feel better after death, but it was clear that Ferb was in pain, and most likely going to be in pain over it for a long time. The two looked out at the sky, Heinz's mind churned with trying to find something, some way to help. He looked back at Ferb, and then it struck him.

"Hang on, Ferb. I'll be right back.", he said, quickly racing inside.

Ferb tailed behind him, a little slowly, unsure of what was really going on before Heinz reappeared with a CD in hand.

"When you get a chance, listen to this.", he offered, holding it out. "It helped me through some bad times, maybe it'll help you."

Ferb took the CD and looked over it curiously. On the front was marked, "Depression", nothing else. But he agreed to do as told and Heinz gave a nod before shooing the young boy to bed with a smile.

The next morning, things finally seemed to calm down around the house. Candace wasn't arguing, Phineas and Heinz were down in the lab, the ocelots were taking their baths, and Ferb was about to settle on the couch with the CD when Heinz suddenly ran through the room, slamming the door behind him and again as he ran to his bedroom. Ferb looked in worry while Vanessa simply smiled and shook her head before going back to the magazine. Phineas next through the door, slower, but just as worried as Ferb. He closed the door and walked to Heinz's bedroom door.

"Dad?", he called through. "Dad? what's wrong?"

"What's going on?", Ferb asked.

Phineas shrugged.

"I dunno. I asked what time it was, and the moment that he saw the clock, he ran up here."

Vanessa's smile widened a bit and she raised an eyebrow.

"I wonder what's goin' on.", Phineas began.

As if on cue, there was a knock on the door.

"Dad!", Vanessa called. "Someone's at the door."

"_I'M NOT HERE!_", Heinz whimpered from the other side of his door.

"You can't hide!", she called back.

"Can't hide from what?", Phineas asked as the door was knocked on again.

He opened the door and there stood Robert.

"Oh. Hi Uncle Robert.", Phineas smiled.

Vanessa's smile suddenly disappeared and was replaced with confusion.

"Hey, Phin.", Robert smiled before calling out. "Heinz! Where are you?"

Heinz peeked out of the door and then sighed and came out.

"Oh! Rob, hey!", he smiled and walked to the door. "Whew! Geez, for a moment there I thought you were-"

"Me?", Roger said as he came out.

"AAH!", Heinz backed up, accidentally tripping on his feet.

Before he hit the ground, Roger caught him by the arm and stood him back up.

"Now, Heinz. Didn't forget about our family reunion this year, did you?", he asked with a smirk.

"Hi Unlce Roger.", Vanessa smiled, happy to see that the annual routine was back in place.

"Robert, you traitor!", Heinz growled. "Why'd you trick me?!"

"Cause I LOVE messing with you.", Robert laughed a bit. "Besides, he paid me well."

"Oh! _I'mgonnakillyou..!_", Heinz growled.

"UNCLE Roger? You mean the mayor of the city is our uncle?", Phineas asked Vanessa.

"Surprising, huh?", she chuckled. "Every year, Dad tries to get out of going to the family reunion, and every year Roger finds some way to drag him there."

Roger finally looked behind Heinz, hearing the young small voice.

"Oh! Phineas, Ferb! What a surprise to see you here.", he smiled.

"Hi Mayor Doofenshmirtz.", Phineas smiled and he and Ferb waved back. "How's the antenna working?"

"Perfectly. Haven't had a tiger attack in months.", he nodded.

"Wait, wait, wait, you know each other?", Heinz asked.

"Oh yeah. We've worked for the mayor before.", Phineas beamed. "It was a lot of fun!"

"Nice to see you boys here.", Roger said before turning to his older brother. "So, Heinz, did you forget, or are you afraid to face Mom and Dad again?"

"I'm not afraid of anything, Roger.", Heinz lied.

Robert couldn't help but snicker making Heinz glower at him.

"Well then you certainly didn't FORGET it, did you?", he asked.

Heinz sighed and rolled his eyes.

"NO.", he said, truthfully. "It's just that I-"

"Well then let's go.", Roger insisted, already heading down the hallway. "I'll wait for you in the parking lot."

Heinz sighed and scowled at his friend.

"Thanks a whole heaping lot.", he huffed.

"Your welcome.", Robert chuckled.

"Do you have any idea what you're doing?!", Heinz snapped. "I wanted to stay AWAY from my family reunion, not because I don't like being around people that utterly IGNORE me, but because I have KIDS that have already been dragged all around town these past couple of days! They should be taking the day off!", he lowered his voice to a harsh whisper so Phineas and Ferb wouldn't hear. "Not to mention the utter embarrassment and shame I'd bring for explaining to my family that Phineas and Candace aren't even born under wedlock!"

"That's your own fault.", Robert said back in a mocking whisper. "That's what you get for not expecting to have kids when you're drunk."

Heinz merely narrowed his eyes and Robert walked home. Candace came out of her room by then and looked about.

"What was all that loud commotion?", she asked.

"We're going to a Doofenshmirtz Family Reunion!", Phineas said brightly.

Candace was less than thrilled but like Heinz, they were dragged along anyway. All along the cardrive, Phineas, Ferb, Candace, Vanessa, Perry, and even Heinz were being well groomed by Heinz's over-doting foster mother.

"Mom! I'm trying to drive!", he groaned as the cat cleaned through his hair.

The ocelot pounced into the back seat where she started to groom the boys. Phineas and Ferb giggled under her ticklish licking and were surprised by how neat and clean their hair looked afterwards. And Candace's hair was some how done up nicely with a bow after the groom and the cat sat down and took her time to more carefully comb through Perry's three layers of fur, making sure they all looked pristine for the reunion.

At the actual reunion, things were pretty much as they always were. It wasn't long that Heinz found himself sitting at his normal table with generally nobody to be with. Vanessa was showing Candace the better crowd of teenaged cousins and such to be with. Phineas and Ferb were racing about, playing with the ocelots. The only one nearby was Perry, though he didn't show his smarter, more comforting side. Not with Ferb and Candace around.

Ferb decided to take a small break from chasing wild cats and stopped by a tree to catch his breath. After a moment, he realized a foreign voice was talking to him and he turned around to see it was one of the other Doofenshmirtz's. A young, plump woman with her dark hair held up in a tight bun. A couple of others stood by her.

"Kann ich Ihnen helfen?", she asked.

Ferb was quiet once again and looked about, wondering where Phineas was, partially wishing there was something he could do to understand them.

"Ah. You speak English.", the relative quickly deduced. "I am sorry. Can I help you?"

Ferb still seemed quiet, but he looked somewhat confused and so then, shook his head.

"Well, if you do not mind me asking, why are you here? You are not a Doofenshmirtz.", the person went on.

Again, Ferb shook his head, but then he thought for a moment as an idea came to him.

"Oh. Well. See, I was um.. I came here with Mr. Heinz.", he said.

"Heinz?"

"Yes. He's right over there.", Ferb pointed him out and woman seemed quite surprised. "You see, he's my guardian."

"Guardian?", the person asked, looking back at Ferb. "Heinz?"

Ferb gave a nod.

"And my brother is over there, and my sister's there.", he pointed them out.

The person looked between the siblings, and then back at Heinz, and then looked at Ferb again and her face fell and her hands flew to her cheeks in anguish.

"Oh you poor thing!", she exclaimed, understanding something bad must've happened to his parents, placing him and his siblings under Heinz's care.

Within moments, the crowds were around him, and Ferb was holding the floor with his tale of his parents' death. The move, the loss of friends, the sincerity Heinz was showing, taking them under his wing. Without revealing Phineas and Candace as Heinz's blood children, he spun out a riveting tale of woe, making the man look like an angel to the family that never acknowledged him.

Heinz couldn't help but notice, his eyes doing a quick head-count of the kids, that Ferb was missing. He couldn't see the young boy, surrounded by the large crowd. He did see the crowd, and merely assumed it to be one of his cousins or an aunt or someone showing off their amazing talents. Certainly not FERB. The man was just standing up to look around for him, when a hand was placed on his shoulder. He looked up and found it was his cousin, Brunhilda.

"Oh Heinz! I had just heard from Ferb! That is so sweet of you!", she said, her accent still thick.

Heinz looked in disbelief and confusion. Heard what from Ferb? The death?

For a moment he was filled with dread that something about his relationship with Linda would be exposed, but Brunhilda and her boyfriend went on their merry way, and left the man in silence. Heinz had barely left the canopy that his table was sitting under when several other family members came by, all saying how wonderful and kind he was.

"Heinz!", a loud, deep, and rough voice cut through.

Heinz looked to find that there was his parents. Walking straight at him from across the field. Heinz's heart plummeted into his stomach in all sickness and stress. Surely THEY would've heard about Linda. About how Phineas and Candace were born out of wedlock. How he hadn't married and yet has had three kids with two women and no wife to show for it. His knees knocked together as his father took him by the arm.

"Heinz, we need a talk. _NOW._", his dad insisted, while dragging the man aside from the crowds.

Heinz had just enough time to look over their shoulders to see Ferb's green hair hidden amongst the crowd and his mind raced with guessing what the boy was saying. What his parents wanted to say.

Once they were out of ear shot did Heinz finally notice that Roger had been tailing along behind them. He looked...angry? Serious? His eyebrows were furrowed together and he wasn't directly looking at Heinz, but the man had never seen his younger brother like this. It made him worry more, though, how much Ferb may have said to his parents.


End file.
